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 A very sad day...

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Brute
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PostSubject: A very sad day...   Wed Apr 29, 2009 2:30 am

Today was a great day....until about 10 minutes ago. it is 1020pm here. I have been waiting 7 months for my application to return from the college i applied at. Sadly, i was not admitted.
I feel such failure. I feel so demoralized. I mean, i could have applied elsewhere, but i didnt want to. It is like all the bad movies. Cool-ish dude thinks he is a shoo-in to a certain college and the rest of the movie is him dealing with failure in interesting ways. I was never "the cool-ish kid" nor did i ever think i was a shoo in. but i feel like a gigantic **** has been taken upon me. My 21st birthday will come and go and ill be "celebrating" it at a ****ing junior college. for those of you in the us....especially California, you might be aware of the reputation JC's have.
basically, they are like the 13th grade. and people constantly tell me "it is what you make of it". I have a response...**** them. going to a JC does save a considerable load of cash...but my life is meaningless attending such a dump.

I feel so juvenile complaining about this. Hell we have among our ranks a person how has killed people and seen his best friend been killed. We have people here with such disorders as bio-polarity ad other things. and i don't mean to speak out of turn, but im sure there are abusive step-fathers in this forum as well. AND MY PETTY PROBLEM? that i will postpone my hopes and dreams another year. That i will be staying at home. I love my parents, but i just have to leave. I cant live here any longer. and the thought of being 90% independent was so tantalizing i let it blind me. Now, i have the fall......

i would be lying when i say i dont need your support. But in all actuality, i really need to leave. Not the forum.....i just need some time.

Wow, typing this out has really hit me harder than i thought.......tonight is going to be a long night.....


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Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Wed Apr 29, 2009 2:49 am

Im so sorry brute .. There is nothing harder to deal with is the loss of a dream .But if you ask me its there loss ! I do understand how hard this is for you and i want to tell you if i can help let me know ok . Keep your head up and fight the system till you win brother !
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Wed Apr 29, 2009 4:41 pm

so sorry brother.
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:19 pm

I as sorry for the turn of events
Here are some ways to make this disappointment less tough to bare
-You can work full time
-In your free time, do what you love, photography
-Maybe you will be able to buy those lens you want
-Make a portfolio even more badass

I'm sorry man

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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:25 pm

That sucks ass man, sorry to hear that. Just don't get discouraged about it even though it is hard. I'm about 3 years younger than you, but I can still understand how it feels to be stuck in your parents home, still feeling like a kid. I will be 17 come May 31st, and I already feel like I need to get out of this house and go somewhere. I think what makes us feel that way is not so much that we hate being at home with our families, but that we feel that life is going way to fast and that we need to make something out of it. Especially lately, I've felt so much that life is completely passing me by. My friends are graduating and leaving, people I know are passing away.... things move way to fast. Let us know if you need to talk about things, because I think I speak for all of us when I say we are here for you.
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Wed Apr 29, 2009 8:01 pm

byd,
i really dont want to be spending money. i have the lens i want. which one were you referring to? but thanks the same
yeah, and im not going to quit school. hopefully i can pick up a second job. i cant work more hours at the one i am, the boss can hardly pay me as it is. ill go to school, i just wont take as many credits...and they will be easy classes



Here is my plan on what to do
Make a kick-ass portfolio
Teach myself Flash animation program
Teach myself web design.....like Dreamweaver.


oh, and an addendum to the **** day i have been having.....ii have been planning a trip to montana to see a friend. I found out today that i cant go cuse his grandmother is getting surgery, he lives with them while he goes to school. we are thinking of doing it in july....but im still bummed. i was going to go in like 3 weeks.....but now.....i have what seems like nothing to look forward to,

You will all be please to hear that i have been playing nothing but Opeth....good and depressing and mellow.
So if anyone is going to get me interested in black metal, now is the time.....ha


and axe, thanks, you have no idea how jealous i am that you guys are still in high school. i had so much fun. now it feels like im pissing my life away at a school i dont want to go to.
My life has been put on hold another year. god.


i just desparetly want to move on and put all this behind me, but my miond just cant shake this. it clings to me like a wet blanket

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:15 pm

Well, that will be fun assembling an amazing portfolio
Maybe you will get a high scholarship and will be in less debt later

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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:43 pm

Hey Brute, I'm sorry 'bout the bad news.. Remember when i got rejected by like 1000 schools? Don't worry, just look for another option and next year apply back. Its hard not to feel like a failure, but you know what? you are anything but a failure.. and your work is awesome, maybe its not the right time for you.

Stay positive, better things will come.

Aeldy.

P.S I miss you all like hell!
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:51 pm

AELDY!!!! Is back to save the day
Look how talented aeldy is brute, if she was rejected, it must be a competitive market, not you lacking skill




Remember you painting? That was amazing

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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:04 pm

Yeah dude, you are an amazing artist. Just wait and it will come.
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:10 pm

Hey Aeldra, do you know what would be a FANTASTIC idea?

... If you would come back for good Sad
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:04 am

i second that

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Sat May 02, 2009 4:05 pm

Axeforhire66 wrote:
Hey Aeldra, do you know what would be a FANTASTIC idea?

... If you would come back for good Sad


Hahaha aww that's nice <3 I think its already happening
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Sat May 02, 2009 4:17 pm

AELDY!!!!!! We miss you Sad


We could really use you right now. We are trying to get the forum back to it's glory lol
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Sat May 02, 2009 6:43 pm

It will come Brute
don't worry.
Don't feel too demoralized there is always another time.
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Sat May 02, 2009 8:00 pm

I don't know what to say about you staying at home for an extra year or so. I would just think of it as postponing victory day. You still have something to look forward to. Do good at the JC and transfer out to a good university maybe. When you drop the ball the best thing to do is pick it up and keep going. It's a very painful experience but it's worth it in the long run.

Also don't give a **** about what reputation a college has. Not everyone's life is the same. Besides it doesn't even determine how successful you are going to be. It's a slightly slower path to victory but it could potentially be a better path to victory. I hear kids that go into the honors program can transfer to almost any UC after two years.

You missed out on some great things but realize they haven't died. You'll still have a day where you get to go for your dreams and you'll still have a day where you get to see your friend. Just not today. Meanwhile, make the most of things.

Opeth is a good band to listen to. You could try Ulver's black/folk metal album, http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=AEF9A226175818A3 (dammit move over this time! I specifically put a space so the link would work). It's pretty mellow and depressing. When you start feeling better maybe listen to some Iron Maiden to lift your spirits up.

When I get really down sometimes I try to find an escape. For a while in Middle School and early High School I would write stories. I like strategy games. There is of course music... One of the best things, at least for me, is to go over to a friend's house and hang out. Anyways find something to do or maybe start doing something new. Keep on top of your work and everything. That's the best I can do, good luck.


Last edited by VacuousReality on Mon May 04, 2009 7:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Sat May 02, 2009 10:19 pm

AeldraAvitus wrote:
Axeforhire66 wrote:
Hey Aeldra, do you know what would be a FANTASTIC idea?

... If you would come back for good Sad


Hahaha aww that's nice <3 I think its already happening
I wish I could re-arrange the alphabet so I could put U and I together

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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Sun May 03, 2009 2:08 am

vc, thanks for the kind words. really. i think you didnt hear, but i have already been at the JC 2 years, so it isnt like im bummed for not getting into the college i really wanted, im bummed cuse i have to stay there for an extra year. not so much fun
my hopes and ambitions are still high, the day i posted this i was REALLY down in the dumps....but hey, life goes on or c'est la vie .
the Ulver link to ytube didnt work, sorry. and +rep

byd, i forgot how funny that joke was. +rep

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Sun May 03, 2009 5:30 am

Axeforhire66 wrote:
AELDY!!!!!! We miss you Sad


We could really use you right now. We are trying to get the forum back to it's glory lol


Hahahaha okay lets do it, we need to gather metalheads from all around the globe!
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Sun May 03, 2009 5:31 am

breakyoudown wrote:
AeldraAvitus wrote:
Axeforhire66 wrote:
Hey Aeldra, do you know what would be a FANTASTIC idea?

... If you would come back for good Sad


Hahaha aww that's nice <3 I think its already happening
I wish I could re-arrange the alphabet so I could put U and I together

HAHAHAHA smooth operator eh? Xd
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Sun May 03, 2009 10:42 pm

AeldraAvitus wrote:
Axeforhire66 wrote:
AELDY!!!!!! We miss you Sad


We could really use you right now. We are trying to get the forum back to it's glory lol


Hahahaha okay lets do it, we need to gather metalheads from all around the globe!

YEAH LETS DO IT! We need you on the team though Aeldy! Thanks so much for coming back
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Sun May 03, 2009 11:31 pm

Very Happy no, thank you!
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Mon May 04, 2009 7:47 pm

brutality,thynameismetal wrote:
vc, thanks for the kind words. really. i think you didnt hear, but i have already been at the JC 2 years, so it isnt like im bummed for not getting into the college i really wanted, im bummed cuse i have to stay there for an extra year. not so much fun
my hopes and ambitions are still high, the day i posted this i was REALLY down in the dumps....but hey, life goes on or c'est la vie .
the Ulver link to ytube didnt work, sorry. and +rep

byd, i forgot how funny that joke was. +rep

Ahh I see. Well it's just one more year, make the most of it. I thought I put a space in the link but apparently I didn't. It's fixed now anyways.
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PostSubject: Re: A very sad day...   Mon May 04, 2009 9:25 pm

ha ha, well, thanks all the same VC

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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