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Axe
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PostSubject: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 8:18 pm

As most of you probably don't know, I am medically depressed. I don't understand why, and it really sucks. It seems like no matter how hard I try to be happy, nothing works. There are a lot of things that I know led to my depression, but they were pretty much all things that I thought I could fix on my own. I haven't been able to, and I don't know what to do. I've only ever had one seriously traumatic event occur in my life, and I feel like I am over it, but I'm still in pain. Side effects of this are loss of sleep, major headaches that I get all the time, the depression part of course, and a huge appetite. It seems like I am always tired. I try to get a lot of sleep, I get more than I used to get, and I am completely exhausted throughout the day. I come home and I often crash on the couch or even my bed, and wake of hours later, still tired. I hate the way I feel and the way I am right now, but I don't know how to fix it. Some of the things that I know led to this is my friends, my family situation, my weight, and the way people have treated me over the years. It seems like my friends are all drifting away from me - I still have a few close friends, but it seems like a lot of them are finding "better" ways to spend their time. My family situation is bad, but I don't really feel like sharing that. It has to do with my parents and how they used to fight and stuff when I was younger. My weight is a big thing, I'm tired of being really big. Most people have grown up enough to the point where they don't harass me for being too big anymore, but I still feel terrible because of it. And one thing that I know makes me feel like crap is how people have treated me. I've never been a popular kid, and though I've tried to make friends, it's been super hard. I have a few great friends, but it seems like most people think I'm worthless. It sucks because I've developed this morbid view on life and the world, and I've become a huge jackass, which turns even more people off. The worst part is is that I can't help it. The way life has gone for me so far has contributed to this, but I feel like I can't perceive things a lot better than I do, but I can't no matter how hard I try. It seems like everything is dark. Everywhere I look, it's bad things happening. I miss the times not too long ago where life was wonderful, where I lived my life and enjoyed it even through the trials. Now I can't stand life, everything is morbid. I know I see things that way because I'm a pessimist, but I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to be the person that is who he is, and people like him for it. Everything is so backwards. I don't understand it because I have never cared what people thought or said about me, and I feel like I don't still, but deep down I think it hurts me. Thanks a lot for the help though guys, even though we can't hang out or anything, I still feel like this forum is filled up with people that are my friends and people who don't judge me for my faults.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 8:28 pm

Welcome to my world...
Im diagnosed as CDC.

Gotta do lots of drugs.
I was even getting some "MEDICAL" marijuana.
But only for a year.
Then Again the Drugs.
I have BI-Polarity too..
Its sucks so much.
i cant be happy when i realle want to.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 8:35 pm

I'm really sorry you're the same way, but at the same time I'm glad that someone understands. I just need something, I don't know what it is. I keep thinking that if I leave indiana, where I live, I might find happiness somewhere else, but I know I probably won't. The only thing that would solve is alienating the friends and family I do have. I don't want to get drugged up though, I want to fix this on my own, but it's so hard. I even got to the point where I was suicidal for a while, I think I may be over that though. I hope so. I just don't understand why some people are loved and worshiped, yet some people are alienated and cast aside. It especially hurts when I hear people like that talking about doing all these good things, and letting people be who they are, then they turn around and treat people like me like sh!t. I've even began questioning my faith in God, but I don't want to lost my faith. That is one of the few things I still have, even though it isn't that strong.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 9:00 pm

Yeah I kinda feel that way as well. Look how many posts I have. If I had friends who cared it would probably be thousands less. I am sort of in a group of friends right now. But it is the second last month of school. 2 months with friends that care out of the 40 months of high school
Mother ****.
God dammit
God ****ing dammit
Gotta start over at University
I feel ya man. I think its just this age of being mature, but not an adult
It simply sucks

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 9:04 pm

I agree with that. One of the hardest things I'm going through now is the loss of my best friend. He didn't die or anything, but he might as well have. We used to hang out all the time because we were the same. We pretty much dealt with the same things as each other, and we were friends from it. Now, he's decided it would be a good idea to change who he is to make more friends, and now we NEVER do anything. We hardly even talk. And this was after about 6 years of being close friends. I still have some good friends, like EP, he's been one of my best friends for a loong time too. It's just hard to deal with something like that. It makes you wonder if your other friends would do the same thing
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 9:43 pm

Guess what, I have bipolar and ADHD.
Aren't we all just a bunch of psyco's?
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 9:59 pm

We could get in an epic bar fight
If Styx was with us

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:01 pm

I have ADHD too, but I refused to take medicine for it. Now I'm just really quiet, but I still don't have any more friends than I ever did
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:03 pm

yeah i can add to the list
adhd......
so yeah
i know....im not depressed.

and dont forget....i have 2 or 3+ years on you guys, so im trying to find my own path and make it through life. i do feel alone sometimes. but you know what,m you persevere. you get through. eventually things will work out

and i dont want you to take this the wrong way axe....but im interested in this medically speaking, and im not calling you a liar.
i think your weight issue stems from using food as an anti depressant. this is fairly common. people get down on themselves, weather they have the condition or not, and then try to comfort themselves with food.
it must be hard being diagnosed with depression and then knowing that you may use food as a comfort.

i took my adhd diagnosis extremely hard. one of the vivid memories i have is being in the bathroom, crying really hard at my mom and saying " i wish i was normal". i still get all nervous when i think about that.

but life moves on. take pleasure in the things you do. i always feel alittle bit better when i go out and take some pictures.

oh, and axe, another common anti depressant is actually exercise. if you are feeling down or have too many things going on in your head, strap on the running shoes and just start running. your mind will concentrate on other things, and hey, you burn calories

i also think a fairly undocumented side-effect of adhd is the constant stream of consciousness i have. ever second from when i wake up to when i go to sleep, my mind is constantly bombarding itself. i have to listen to talk radio, or music, or watch television (or reply to forums) to keep all the brain activity down.
i swear, i wake up, and i start singing a song in my head, or repeating a certain phrase over and over and over. it is handy sometimes....but it is very cumbersome to deal with


any rate...enough of my bitching and moaning

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:04 pm

Axeforhire66 wrote:
I have ADHD too, but I refused to take medicine for it. Now I'm just really quiet, but I still don't have any more friends than I ever did

i took the pills. past tense. good decision to deny them. they were horrible. i felt like a zombie. and not in the cool lina/byd zombie way. i had 0 appetite, and i was very anti social

you will get more friends. college is a start over....the scary thing is, nobody knows you and what you are, but that is also the greatest thing. if you live on campus, you will make soooo many friends.

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Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:06 pm

Exercising is fun
I've been going pretty much every weekday to the gym
It gets lonely after 2 days if no other friends are there

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:08 pm

thats when you just put on the music and think about how aweome you will look later. i really need to get a membership.
i will get one in june, and to avoid spending so much time at home, ill prolly go 3 times a week. and then on the weekends, i usually take a bike ride and a soccer game.

i hate living with my parents, but i think they are providing me necessary motivation to get outta the house more. i will be ripped thanks to them ha ha

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Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:09 pm

brutality,thynameismetal wrote:
Axeforhire66 wrote:
I have ADHD too, but I refused to take medicine for it. Now I'm just really quiet, but I still don't have any more friends than I ever did

i took the pills. past tense. good decision to deny them. they were horrible. i felt like a zombie. and not in the cool lina/byd zombie way. i had 0 appetite, and i was very anti social

you will get more friends. college is a start over....the scary thing is, nobody knows you and what you are, but that is also the greatest thing. if you live on campus, you will make soooo many friends.

No I TOOK the pills, when I was younger, from when I was super young till I was in 7th grade I believe. I can't believe you said that, I've said that about those pills all my life. It got to the point where I was on the highest does of aderall you could get, and it was then that I refused to take them. I just couldn't handle it
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:11 pm

I <3 you

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:13 pm

You sure do know how to lighten things up byd
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:17 pm

Capitalists unite

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:22 pm

dude
so it was like this
iw as on Ritalin.....before adderall. lo does of speed basically. i had to take it 2 times a day for just a day of school.
then they moved me on concerta. that lasted for like 8 hours.

side affects
Zombie state. little to no appetite. antisocial. i also felt alot of anxiety. and just before i quit, i told the doc that i felt like a ninja, and that if someone was going to burst through the window, do a somersault and then attack me, i could dispatch him instantly. i guess hypersensitivity but not with the usual senses. i guess it was time for me to go off then because people who are taking speed have that as a side affect i guess

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Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:28 pm

brutality,thynameismetal wrote:
dude
so it was like this
iw as on Ritalin.....before adderall. lo does of speed basically. i had to take it 2 times a day for just a day of school.
then they moved me on concerta. that lasted for like 8 hours.

side affects
Zombie state. little to no appetite. antisocial. i also felt alot of anxiety. and just before i quit, i told the doc that i felt like a ninja, and that if someone was going to burst through the window, do a somersault and then attack me, i could dispatch him instantly. i guess hypersensitivity but not with the usual senses. i guess it was time for me to go off then because people who are taking speed have that as a side affect i guess

I took Ritalin when I was younger, went up the doses, then moved to aderall. Then when I got to the top of that, I quit. It made me focus, but I hated how I was. No appetite, zombie state, nothing interested me. I didn't want to come home and play videogames or whatever I was interested in. I just wanted to lie down and wait. I felt really focused, one of the reasons I didn't stop sooner was that my game in football skyrocketed while on it. I was great when I was on that. But I couldn't take it anymore. Drugs like that suck, that's why I won't take anything for my depression
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:33 pm

well, have you tried anti depressants?

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Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:46 pm

brutality,thynameismetal wrote:
well, have you tried anti depressants?

No, and I don't think I want to. They are pretty much the same things
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:48 pm

well, yeah. but add and adhd are notorious for having the side affects. it couldnt hurt to try....

just dsaying....but i totally know why you wouldnt want to

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Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 10:51 pm

brutality,thynameismetal wrote:
well, yeah. but add and adhd are notorious for having the side affects. it couldnt hurt to try....

just dsaying....but i totally know why you wouldnt want to

I might sometime, because I don't want to hit rock bottom again, and I think I'm close. I'm glad you didn't know me at the end of last year...
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Wed May 06, 2009 11:20 pm

I thought i was the only crazy person here, lol it's kinda nice to know im not the only one but it sucks to be like this at such young age, I suffer from panic attacks, got abandonment issues and ofc im depressed all the time, I think you guys know that already (when i decided to come clean about my eating disorder?).. Im what american ppl call "damaged goods" lmao...

What's ADHD? first time i hear about it


Anyway, I think my recomendation is pretty lame but, videogames.. they help, just like music and arts. Write some poetry? maybe? There's not much I can say, just know how you feel and i guess what we all need to hear sometimes is: We are here for you! whenever you need us!


and about the drugs, I'm currently using Zoloft. It's weird, 'cause it doesnt make you feel any better... you just dont feel anything..

GL!
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 12:19 am

adhd...attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
yeah. the kids you see runing around all hypoer. they cant sit still or concentrate. thats it
although it progress when you are older. like for me, i cant pay attention to hardly anything. i cant read books cuse my mind wanders. i read the words on the [age....but im thinking about what i had for dinner or what i will do the next day.

here this might help
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADHD

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Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 12:53 am

Yeah I have started to get anxiety attacks in public and I am clostrophobic. I think it's one of those things that everyone has their problems and just no one wants to talk about em but when you get together you all realize your not alone ya know? I agree with Aeldy on the games and such. I know it isn't as rough as yours but I've delt with a lot of depression and just generally being down in the past few years with relationship problems (I was in an abusive relationship) and with my friend group like splitting up and two of my best friends in the world becomming alcoholics. It's been rough and music, videogames, books, especially music have helped me a lot in being able to just find a bit of an escape when I needed it. I guess I've also drawn up lol I've become a major hermit this year as well. Who knows perhaps thats my way of dealing with it. I'm really glad we have a place where we can talk about this though.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 12:58 am

My medicane? A riddilin patch lol
It doesnt supress my appetite and i feel fine
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 1:27 am

Link: REALLY!!?!???! can you go tell me exactly what the package says? i want to ask a doctor about that,
have you been on other ADHD meds? if so, did you have any side effects?

blackstar: bummer dude. wow. i will never fully understand claustrophobia....i have no problem being in a cramped car....or being in a huge crowd. but i do have the opposite. I awhile back sailed small boats (for the small boat merit badge shhhhhh)
and it was done on the local island where i live, Catalina....they took the boat out about a mile and a half. If you dont know, Catalina is famous for having some of the clearest water in the world. well, we get out there, and we are required to tip the boat over and then do like a procudre and then flip it back over. well, i look down and it looks like it gets all murky 30 ft down. well, i jump in and it was clearer than your standard swimming pool. i looked down, saw my shoes, and could have told you how many loopholes there were on the right side, the color of the laces....it was so clear. i was overcome with a huge sense of agoraphobia (fear of large spaces). very scary ****....at least im not out far in the ocean alot. ha hha

Aeldy....damaged goods.....pshhh. you aint crazy.....-ier than the rest of us....ahhahahaha. nonsense. no no, damaged goods are the gold diggers and the people with daddy issues and who are really really needy. abandonment issues are sth different. i can deal with that.....just naggy and needy...no thanks

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Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 1:38 am

Well, the meds is called Daytrana, I will go look at it. The only side effect is you tear of some skin when you take it off sometimes, but it doesn't hurt.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 1:43 am

dude, that is worth a shot. thank you SSOOOOOOO much

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 2:07 am

No problem lol
I don't know this stuff is pretty good because it releases only some meds over time so you keep appetite
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 2:17 am

well, that may not be the case. concerta release doeses through the blood stream throughout the day. it could just be the delivery method (pills) that gives me side affects...or it could be that im just not a good candidate for ADHD meds. that is entirely possible. could aslo be that my brain has started manufacturing the nesessacry chemicals that adhd people lack, and now im just your typical run-of-the-mill 20 year old who talks too loud.


but i have been meaning to talk to a doctor, to see if the pills for adhd have changed in the past 6 years or so

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Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
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Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 2:22 am

Oh they have!
Daytrana is actually the best because it releases in a time registered, exact quantity dose
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 2:29 am

no no, i dont think dosage was the case....i think that my system reacted with more negative side affects than most people

but if i go to a doctor, i will totally ask about this

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Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 2:10 pm

See Axe this thread is already doing some good ^_^

Yeah I swear I get it from my mom (the claustrophobia & anxiety) my mom had both really bad when she was 18-25 but both have calmed down for a good part so I hope mine will as well. It's weird how it just comes and goes in certain places really. Like concerts don't bother me at all to be crammed in with other people. I think maybe it's because I have something to concentrait on perhaps.

You know that is another thing that helps/ed me with my depression and stresses are concerts, now that I think of it those probably help me more than anything.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 4:49 pm

AeldraAvitus wrote:
I thought i was the only crazy person here, lol it's kinda nice to know im not the only one but it sucks to be like this at such young age, I suffer from panic attacks, got abandonment issues and ofc im depressed all the time, I think you guys know that already (when i decided to come clean about my eating disorder?).. Im what american ppl call "damaged goods" lmao...

What's ADHD? first time i hear about it


Anyway, I think my recomendation is pretty lame but, videogames.. they help, just like music and arts. Write some poetry? maybe? There's not much I can say, just know how you feel and i guess what we all need to hear sometimes is: We are here for you! whenever you need us!


and about the drugs, I'm currently using Zoloft. It's weird, 'cause it doesnt make you feel any better... you just dont feel anything..

GL!

Thank you for reading, and I'm sorry to hear that you, and so many other people on here, have the same problems as I do. I do write poetry, but unlike my stories, I don't share them with anyone. I put a lot more into my poetry. And of course I play videogames a lot, they are a fantastic escape for me.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 4:57 pm

Yeah thanks guys for looking at the thread and sharing. It's really nice when it can be a thread for all of us to share our problems and help each other. Talking about it always helps, but sometimes I don't know who to talk to about it. My adhd is really weird right now. I used to be one of those kids that was bouncing off the walls and would never shut up. Now it seems like I'm almost always mellow and calm, and very quiet at school. I almost never speak unless spoken to first. It's strange though because I have a very hard time concentrating on my work, and it's really hard for me to sit down for long periods of time without getting up. Sometimes when I'm at home I will just get up while playing a game or whatever, and just walk around like I have something to do. It's just hard for me to keep my mind occupied on one thing.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 5:33 pm

This mother ****ing asshole hit me when I was in grade 10. It still hurts to this day
In fact, it ****ing kills right now! It hurts to move
I hate that guy.
**** this hurts

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 6:14 pm

What did he hit you with? >_>
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 6:17 pm

A but end of a hockey stick

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 6:26 pm

****, that's not cool. I can see how that would still hurt. My dad has an injury he got playing football when he was in highschool that still hurts him.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 6:30 pm

I understand that completely. I fucked up my knees in football, and now I am convinced they will hurt for the rest of my life. Also, when ever I do anything physical this spot on my back hurts intensely from an injury I got in football. I think I must have messed up a disc or something
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 7:53 pm

If I bend my back it hurts
I gotta be so straight up

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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 9:12 pm

Escapes are good. Music of course, video games, books, and others. I like reading books but I'm never content to just read any random book and I don't like fiction books. A lot of the books I want to read I would rather keep a private manner, similar to music, so I'm waiting until I get older. I think exercise is one of the best things a person can do but when someone tells me to go exercise I often just really don't want to. I think it's something that a person has to get into the habit of for it to become the most enjoyable. Make a routine of it.

I feel kind of bad here because I don't have any mental conditions that I know of.

I think a lot of people who come to forums like this might have problems with their social life. My social life is pretty bad right now. Today was block scheduling (2 hour periods) and in ceramics class I just sat in my seat doing nearly nothing for 2 hours straight. Same in my first period...I sat there for 2 hours and picked up a book to read at the last 20 minutes. Second period was the same as well. During lunch I talked only briefly with a friend but only about enough to fill up a page. I just noticed recently that in ceramics class the few times I do say something no one really listens and it's like I'm not there (it might be silent and I start talking then before I finish a sentence someone else will start saying something and I'm completely out of the picture). I think people just prioritize what they talk about by how interesting the subject matter is and I'm just not a very interesting person. I only have a few friends and we rarely interact. I agree with what Axe said. When you aren't really being liked you tend to become even less likable. Personally I get along best with weird people who are different from others. A couple days ago there was this one kid who came up to my friend and I and totally introduced himself and started discussing with my friend how his shirt might look like a pirate shirt but it was actually about 80's romance period or something like that. I thought he was really cool but I could barely mutter a word and didn't even shake his hand (like my friend next to him did). I think I'm really losing my ability to socialize. At least I'm not hated though. That sounds like it would be rough.

Um...exercise, music, books if you can, and of course video games...damn. Depression is tough. My grandpa always acts like it is as easy as clicking your fingers or putting a smile on your face. I think running or walking might be good in the long run but I know how it makes you feel really bad at first. For someone who is depressed it must just be that much more difficult.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 9:29 pm

VacuousReality wrote:
Escapes are good. Music of course, video games, books, and others. I like reading books but I'm never content to just read any random book and I don't like fiction books. A lot of the books I want to read I would rather keep a private manner, similar to music, so I'm waiting until I get older. I think exercise is one of the best things a person can do but when someone tells me to go exercise I often just really don't want to. I think it's something that a person has to get into the habit of for it to become the most enjoyable. Make a routine of it.

I feel kind of bad here because I don't have any mental conditions that I know of.

I think a lot of people who come to forums like this might have problems with their social life. My social life is pretty bad right now. Today was block scheduling (2 hour periods) and in ceramics class I just sat in my seat doing nearly nothing for 2 hours straight. Same in my first period...I sat there for 2 hours and picked up a book to read at the last 20 minutes. Second period was the same as well. During lunch I talked only briefly with a friend but only about enough to fill up a page. I just noticed recently that in ceramics class the few times I do say something no one really listens and it's like I'm not there (it might be silent and I start talking then before I finish a sentence someone else will start saying something and I'm completely out of the picture). I think people just prioritize what they talk about by how interesting the subject matter is and I'm just not a very interesting person. I only have a few friends and we rarely interact. I agree with what Axe said. When you aren't really being liked you tend to become even less likable. Personally I get along best with weird people who are different from others. A couple days ago there was this one kid who came up to my friend and I and totally introduced himself and started discussing with my friend how his shirt might look like a pirate shirt but it was actually about 80's romance period or something like that. I thought he was really cool but I could barely mutter a word and didn't even shake his hand (like my friend next to him did). I think I'm really losing my ability to socialize. At least I'm not hated though. That sounds like it would be rough.

Um...exercise, music, books if you can, and of course video games...damn. Depression is tough. My grandpa always acts like it is as easy as clicking your fingers or putting a smile on your face. I think running or walking might be good in the long run but I know how it makes you feel really bad at first. For someone who is depressed it must just be that much more difficult.

Wow thanks VC. That is one thing I never understood. Every time I join forums like this, people like me. Hell, when I played WoW I joined this guild thing and all I did was be myself: use my brand of humor, and act like I do in real life, and everyone liked me. When I left the game, there was at least 50 people who begged me not to, and said it wouldn't be the same without me. But, in life, I get up and go to school, and I be myself, and peopled don't like me. I also have the problem where when I say things, people don't seem to listen. So, mostly, I just keep to myself. I think people judge others too much. I have a friend who is just like me - we love the same music, we play the same videogames, we have the same sense of humor. The difference is, he is in good shape and has a different voice. People dislike me, and they like him. It really sucks because I know I can be a good friend to people if they would let me, but most people don't. It's depressing, but I do have some fantastic friends that I wouldn't trade for 10,000 others. I just think that people don't let others be themselves. If you aren't just like everyone else, people don't like you. But the thing about that is, is that everyone is an individual. My mother says I'm going through a "phase" with long hair and heavy metal. I think that's whats wrong with people. They look at things people do that aren't mainstream, and they say that it isn't right. She'll figure out someday that I am who I am, and I don't let others decide who I am for me, but at the same time, I don't blatantly go against the grain
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 10:13 pm

Okey, so I could go on with a great motivational speech right now, and I'm really good at that when I get going, but I think I'll try to keep this short and simple; and this is my advice for everyone. Razz

Never give up and always do what you think is right. Live life to it's fullest and never let anything keep you from enjoying it. That's key; enjoying life. It doesn't matter who you know or what you do as long as it's meaningful to you and you're enjoying yourself.

Concerning any and all issues you may have there is a simple process for dealing with everything. Think about it and if you find you can do something to fix it then do it. If you find you can't do anything about it then let it go, deal with it and do what you have to do to enjoy life and do what you believe is right.

As far as medication goes I believe you should try it if you think you need it. If it helps you then great. If it doesn't then follow your doc's instructions for geting off of it. I have manic-depression (or bi-polar, whatever you want to call it) and I have been diagnosed with ADHD as well. I have taken medication in the passed and it did help, but I haven't been on anything in years and it hasn't caused me too much trouble.

Oh yeah, and you guys are awesome. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 10:16 pm

Thanks so much for the advise Lina. I'm just glad we can all help give each other suggestions and advise. I might try anti-depressants soon, but I want to see if I can do it myself. I want to be me, I just want to be a happy me. I don't want some drug to change my personality, but if it comes down to it, I might just have to try it
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 10:28 pm

Well I had a pretty bad bout of depression a bit back but I've been manic lately. A lot of people think that the mania is better...I disagree profusly. Mine isn't really that bad but I really don't have any idea how to deal with it so I just go with it and try not to be too inpulsive or anything like that.

And of course you are welcome. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 10:33 pm

Lina wrote:
Well I had a pretty bad bout of depression a bit back but I've been manic lately. A lot of people think that the mania is better...I disagree profusly. Mine isn't really that bad but I really don't have any idea how to deal with it so I just go with it and try not to be too inpulsive or anything like that.

And of course you are welcome. Smile

I don't know the extent of my mental illness. I've refused to go see therapists and counselors, and I also refused to go see other doctors at our local loony bin. I could have something like that, but all I know is that I have clinical depression. I have had suspicions that I was bi-polar too, because it seems like my mood changes all the time. And it usually seems like it's something that hardly matters that triggers it. Something that I look back on later and think "what was I so mad about?".
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 10:39 pm

Remember Axe, the realitive majority of Indiana is not exactly tilted the right way. I wallowed in pretty much a zone of no social life. I knew I was weird, I got over that as much as possible. I even have a mental condition. Aspberger Syndrome. Or however you spell it. Even then I'm weird compared to the normal Aspberger Syndrome character. It was why you need to just take comfort that there are people as weird as you, and that they may be there for you, depending on how much you know them. Being yourself is the only way you can make true friends, and remember that. Besides your old best friend and you made it so that you were both jerks. Though I think that was more him than you. You have to try to keep your friends, but never lose yourself in trying to keep them.

Remember this a friend will get you out of Jail, but a good friend will be in the cell with you.
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PostSubject: Re: Depression   Thu May 07, 2009 10:41 pm

Well, Axe, I can tell you that during either mania or depression anger can be triggered easily. I obiously can't tell you if you have bi-polar or anything like that. I disagree with self diagnosis as much as I disagree with self medication.

I have to encourage you to speak to a professional about this issue if you feel it's necesary. They may just be able to give you a few pointers on how to help yourself. If you do go the best thing to do is be completely honest and open. I realize that that's really hard, especially with a stranger, but if you do that they'll be able to help you better. Also, if you go, make sure you check their creditials and inquire about your pivacy agreement with them. Most places will tell you that everything is confidential and no one will ever know about what you share with them unless they feel that you are a serious threat to yourself or others (because it'd be illegal otherwise lol.)
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