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 BYD Story Green Ring- A thriller tale

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PostSubject: BYD Story Green Ring- A thriller tale   Tue May 12, 2009 9:52 pm

Green Ring

A cherry red cottage sat past a stone path leading to its front door. The stones were perfectly aligned with and were blanketed in leaves. The first step was still fresh with a muddy footprint. The grass around the stone path swayed, unable to hold its own weight. There was a garden that acted as a moat circling the cottage. The moat halted at the path, leaving room for those to enter. The path was the drawbridge, allowing entrance. A second stone path leads the back door of the cottage to a sandy beach. This path was not surrounded by wildlife or vegetation. Upon departing the back door, a small forest was on either side of the path. This forest was very dry, filled with pine tree's. A faint sound of squirrels was heard rustling through the branches. They leaped from branch to branch, dipping with their weight. The path ended at the beach, where the light was once again present.

Vlad Zeal pulled into the cottage's driveway in his pickup truck. He stopped his truck in front of the log, which signaled drivers that they were close to driving off the gravel and onto the grass. He dug into his dress pocket and withdrew a furry red cube. He slowly popped it open revealing a beautiful ring. The circle shined with bright silver, and a circular emerald rested on top. He opened his door with the ring safely tucked in his pocket once more. His mind continuously projected what he thought the situation would look like. Vlad crossed the stone path; unaware of a certain muddy unfamiliar footprint resided on the welcome mat. He let himself in, and for a moment he only stood there. He did not follow his normal routine of wiping his shoes or even taking them off. He began to think of life as married man. That is, if she said yes. The entrance of the cottage was a kitchen with cutlery laid out across the counter to dry. He snatched a butter knife to look at his reflection. "This is the time to shine. The moment of truth ladies and gentlemen." He thought excitedly. With a smile from ear to ear he walked toward the only bedroom as the lights were on.

Vlad did not propose or become engaged that day. After opening that bedroom door his life went straight downhill. His girlfriend was having an affair. Vlad simply ignored everything that had been shouted at him. He walked towards the kitchen and in a certain mug, he had placed his wedding ring. He did not return to the cottage to reclaim his belongings, nor did his girlfriend return them. He left the cottage and was greeted by a small dog. His hearing was disabled. He stumbled towards his truck, wanting to get away from the barking. A figure emerged from the bushes with an apologetic expression. It continuously announced, "I'm sorry, he isn't usually like this." Vlad hated the figures. He avoided eye contact and drove away in a dust cloud.

Leandro Green was finally on vacation. He had left the bank and all of his belongings at home. He left his: cell phone, laptop, files, and everything that reminded him of work. He took one hand off the steering wheel and ruffled his dog's hair. "Just me and you girl." He told his Saint Bernard with a chuckle. The stress at work was relentless. This retreat was indeed an escape, a vacation to pull him back together. The past few days he had been continuously making silly mistakes at work. Some of them ranging from poor time management, to the miscounting of money. Rachel, his boss, frequently called these accidents “hiccups”. Leaving this pressure behind, his car roared along the open highway. He was nearing his destination. More and more trees were in view. In the distance he saw a body of water. Half an hour later, he pulled his car into a driveway and parked in front of a log.

"Alright Charity, this is our home for the next week. Ready to unpack?" Leandro called to his dog. He reached to the back seat and pulled his luggage toward him. Leandro departed his car with a sigh of relief. He raised his eyebrows at the sight of the stone path leading to the cherry red cottage.

The key to the cottage could be found in the garden. There was a certain lawn gnome that sat upon a plastic stump. Its arms were crossed, and its face was fixed in a content expression. He picked it up by its hips, to be polite. He flipped it upside down and there was a small latch. He opened the small door and a dull tan key was revealed, just as the owner said. Putting the gnome back in the round spot in the soil he called to Charity. "Wanna go in girl?" But the dog was busy barking at the birds in the trees. Smirking, he unlocked the door to get a first look at the house.

Vlad stood on the beach. He tossed his empty bottle of whiskey into the water, clashing against a rocking before splashing. He was wearing a gray shirt with pants. His intension was to claim his belongings. But now, he wanted more than his precious ring. He wanted revenge. He slowly inched toward the stone path in the forest. He stopped in front of the cottage's waterhouse. He swung the door open. Inside were pipes. Vlad found a brick that blocked a small hole in the wooden side. He raised the brick and pounded it on a corner of a lead pipe. Eventually the material gave in, bleeding water. With more heavy blows to the corner, Vlad yanked the pipe free. Entirely drenched in water, he was confident to gain access to the cottage.

Leandro became aware of the absence of water in moments. The sounds of Charity barking could be heard. He grabbed a beer and joined his pet outside.

Leandro ventured away from the garden moat to find Charity gnawing on an old box. "Whatcha got there Chare bear?" Leandro laughed wrapping an arm around the saint bernard. The dog's jaw loosened, dropping the small cube on the grass. The dog looked at her owner expecting him to be proud, but instead he held it with curiosity. Leandro opened the small red cube and inside was merely silk with dirt inside. He snapped the box close and felt curious. "Where'd you find this Chare? Chare?" The dog began to run towards the cottage. "Hey! Where are you going? Leave that squirrel alone, lets go to the beach!" With a sigh Leandro stood up and paced towards the red cottage to see Charity looking around the corner. "C'mon Chare lets go for a swim, the water is-" Leandro stopped in his tracks startled to see a man at the side of the cottage, dripping in water...Clenching a pipe.


For a moment, Charity was the only one who made a sound. After what seemed like hours, both men spoke simultaneously.
"What are you holding?"
"Why are you holding that?"
Avoiding Vlad's constant stare, Leandro remembered that he was still holding the red cube. "Oh this?" He asked as if it were a common drool covered object. Before he could continue, Charity's constant growls developed into barks. "Hey what’s wrong Chare? Leandro met Vlad's eyes once more with an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry, she isn't usually like this." The remark triggered the man in gray dress clothes to fix his eyes upon Charity. "Why do they always say that? Who are you?" Vlad asked once again menacingly, his eyes now fixing on the furry red cube. "Oh sorry, man. I'm Leandro Green. Are you a plumber? He asked, very aware of the pipe was gripping. My water supply has been cut off. I could really use..." He trailed off feeling uneasy. He must be a plumber. But why is his gaze so aggressive? He's wearing dress clothes; I have nothing to worry about. But what does his attire have to do with the matter at hand? I smell alcohol. Leandro thought. "My name is Vlad Zeal. Why do you have that box?" He asked in a voice that was slowly getting louder. "Oh this?" Leandro gave out a nervous laugh chuckle, forgetting that he still held the square. "Ah this is just some box my dog found." In a desperate attempt to in anyway change the overpowering expression on Vlad's face, he tossed the box into the forest yelling "Go long girl!" Charity did not move an inch. It was Vlad who followed this red mark. Leandro only watched as Vlad disappeared into the thick bushes.

As he paced towards the landing of the distinct red shape, Vlad thought to himself. "This is all too familiar. Could he be renting this red blaze as I have had? This cottage was a wonder in its appearance, but it is to blame for all my hardships. I can clearly remember the red box which should have lead to my marriage. I can clearly remember its characteristics. If I can find it, I'll know for sure. Did Mr.Leandro Green actually hope to uplift my spirits with a jest? Or was this a premeditated mockery that is anything but a coincidence? Yes, I have found it. This is surely the box that I regret investing in. Mr. Green does not appear to be an elaborate user of conspiracy. Hell, there is nothing in his personage that strikes me as familiar. On the other hand, if someone was to ask me to describe the man who engaged my girlfriend, I would not be able to extract any details. Nor could I recall the dog who taunted me in my retreat. My ring...Did I leave it in the box? Surely I did. Why would I leave it elsewhere? My belongings...I did not take away with me. It has been six months since that dreadful milestone. Surely my apparel is there no longer. But my ring...The man must have it. He had found its storage! This is truly a green mistake. The man will not take this from me. I have endured much, but I will not take this taunting. The value of the ring, I do not care for. It is my very dignity that I am determined to reclaim. Enjoy the day Mr. Green. For at night, the country sleeps. And if events unfold as I think they will. You too will sleep."


Leandro sat at his very small kitchen table. From this seat he could easily reach the fridge. He was bothered by the encounter with Vlad Zeal. "If this were a bank, I could call security. If I were at home, I could phone the police. Why would he follow that dirty chewed up box? He couldn't be that concerned about littering. Maybe it used to be his? Perhaps he was expecting something to be inside of it? By the looks of things, the forest isn't exactly posin-ivy free. What was he doing here? Did he rent the cottage before me and just hasn't left yet? Maybe they had called a plumber to reactivate the water. But who is they? I don't know, the people who own this cottage? Obviously I am letting Charity have all the fun outside. I have nothing to worry about. If he comes back, I will offer him a beer or two. We'll laugh, and talk about what happened to the pipes. I'll apologize for littering and we'll play poker or something." Leandro sprung to his feet and made his way to the beach.


The sun was setting. The amount of light was steadily decreasing. Leandro sat on the living room couch, which was only an arms reach away from the kitchen table. He looked at his watch. "7:00pm." Then he remembered that he should have left it at home with his cellphone. "I shouldn't be caring about the time. I am here to chill." Leandro told Charity as if he were trying to convince her that he had made the right decision in not bringing his devices. Charity raised her eyes meeting his, as if to acknowledge it. He stood up, carrying his empty beer bottle to the sink. Over the sink was the only window in the cottage. But it was okay; the place was just for sleeping and eating. He placed the bottle in the sink and after a quick glance outside he firmly shut the window. He had already locked the back door, which was made of heavy wood that smelt fresh. The front door was slightly to the left of the sink. The front wooden door was locked. There was a screen door in front of it. "Gotta lock the bank up for the night." He chuckled to himself. He unlatched the door and standing on the side of the screen was Vlad.

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PostSubject: Re: BYD Story Green Ring- A thriller tale   Tue May 12, 2009 9:53 pm

Leandro jumped backward and threw the door shut. He slammed the bolt home and looked at the window wide eyed. "Please don't look in the window." Leandro whimpered. There were curtains on the window frame, but were only meant for decoration. They were too small to even cover a single pane. He leaned against the front door and slid down to a sitting position. "How long as he been waiting there?" He panted. He didn't dare stand up, as he would be at eye level if that man were standing outside of the window. Zeal...

He lowered the whiskey bottle down against the screen door. Vlad still stood in front of the door. He held the box his in hand. The box's beaten appearance perfectly matched his mental state. He closed his eyes and heard a voice. But it wasn't the familiar voice of his thoughts. Nor was it the man in the cottage. His eyes watered, his eyelids twitched. His heartbeat increased. He closed his eyes tightly and began to sweat. Little did he know, a hallucination had begun. When he opened his eyes, everything appeared to be black and white, except he was holding the ring, which still glowed, green. He stared at the jewel and he could see words on its centre. He read them out loud. "I am inside. All you have to do is open your eyes. Claim your prize."


Leandro began to think logically. "Maybe he is not a particular conversational man? But why didn't he knock? Maybe he had just arrived with news about my water supply. Was he still holding the pipe? I could see, I panicked as soon as I saw his face. So much for offering him beers and laughing till the day was over." He stood up, avoiding the window. Charity still sat slouched down, not understanding her master's panic. Leandro needed to use the washroom. But he knew there was only one flush, and he may need water... But of course that was just a silly thought. He should go out and apologize. He needed a drink first. He opened the fridge and withdrew another beer bottle. Shaking, he opened up a drawer and withdrew a mug. The mug was completely black with white text reading, "Expect the Unexpected." He held the bottle above the mug and poured the liquor. As he listened to the splash, the sound had a certain distorted trait he didn't recognize. He looked into the cup and found a shiny emerald ring. He reached into the water and scooped it out with a finger. He pinched the ring and squinting, he started at it puzzled.


Vlad felt a rush of adrenaline. He was certain that the man was in possession of the green ring. He held the heavy lead pipe in his hand. Opening the door, he leered at the door in spite. Bringing the lead pipe behind his gray collar, he took a single swing at the door. The pipe rumbled in his hand, sending a shockwave through his body. A small dent was left in the wooden door. "There has to be another way inn he thought maliciously.

Leandro was only too aware that Vlad had caused the loud crack on the door. He could remember his first few years working at the bank. He would become flushed if he didn't know what to do, or if he had made a mistake, that feeling felt comforting in comparison right now. His “hiccups” at the bank related to his similar story. Vlad began to remind him of the ever-pestilent Rachel, his boss. What did he do when she got to his nerves? He would think, and say nothing. “This time must be different. This time I will act on this. I will not subdue to being a victim all my life.” He thought with a rush of hope.

He gave the ring a second look and thought it was somehow connected. Leandro could not think of any other reason for this aggression from Zeal. He could not simply return the ring. He was sure that they would exchange fists before information. Leandro placed the ring on the table and began looking for anything that could be used as a weapon. "If I could just stun him.,. I could easily out run him. But he is standing right outside the door! There is always the back door... But what about Charity? I might be able to sneak around him, but Chare would make too much noise." Leandro thought, beginning to sweat. The washroom was no gun store. He found towels, soap, hooks, and a broom. He let out a nervous sigh and grabbed the broom. He twisted its head off and again took a second look at the back door. As he treaded-

Vlad waited on the right side of the right side of the house in the dirt path. The stone path was on the left side he would be spotted easily. Then he heard the sound he had been waiting for. The sound of the opening door-

Made Charity's ears perk. Leandro stepped outside and quickly shut the wooden door. His companion was out of sight. Standing on the muddy backyard he glanced at the two paths’ he could take to reach his car. If the coast were clear, he would quickly reunite with Chartiy and drive off. Good thing he had only brought clothes and food after all. He would sacrifice those possessions to flee from this red painted hell. He decided to stick to the dirt path. Vlad was surely waiting on the "busy intersection of the stone path." He chuckled to himself. He made a tight fist around the broom, which was now a plastic stick. He held it in front of himself. If his adversary were waiting, he might try to disarm the stick rather than hitting him. His back pressed against the cottage now. He was just about to turn the corner. He slowly-

Approached the window in the cottage. Vlad took a quick look around. The man was not in sight. He stood on the stone path and felt the screen protecting the glass window. The end of his pipe was slightly jagged. He cut the screen vertically. He flipped the pipe so the blunt end faced the glass. He pulled the lead to his shoulder and swung heavily, shattering the only window. He gazed with great concentration-

At Zeal. Leandro crept behind his car, peaking slightly over the hood. "If it were just a bit darker out, I'd be much more hidden." he thought sweating. What is he doing? Trying to climb through the window? Maybe he'll see the ring. Then he'll take it and scram. But Charity is in there. Should've left her at home too. I have my car keys...No, I'm not leaving her." In the distance he could see some sort of light emiting from Vlad's hands. Charity's barking could be heard-

Very loudly at Vlad's position. He reached into the empty pane and unhatched the wooden frame. He withdrew a metal flask and emptied its continents of liquor inside. Then he once more began to light matches. He scrapped the match quickly, a solid flame appeared. He tossed it inside and a ember slowly formed. He took one step back before-

Lifting the broom in front of Zeal's neck and pulling it towards him. "Leave me alone!" Green roared with surprising volume. The fire was now beginning to spread to the table. Charity stood next to it, arching her back and shouting a series of barks. Leandro jerked to the right releasing Vlad onto the ground. He quickly yanked the pipe out of Vlad's loose grip and flung it as hard as he could down the stone path. He sprinted to the unlocked back door. He threw the door open and locked it behind him. Tossing the broom away he dashed towards Charity. Two options ran through his mind. Put out the fire, or grab the dog and run. The fire roared as if it were impatient. "First things first, Charity needs to get out of this inferno." He thought swiftly. He stepped around the fire and unlocked the door. Charity followed and escaped the moment the screen was pulled back. His eyes began to water; the smoke began to layer around the ceiling. Leandro suddenly felt a sharp pain in the side of his head. He felt a stream of warm blood trickle down his face. A large stone lay at his feet. He looked at the spot where the window used to be. Vlad Zeal stood there smiling with rage.

Leandro stumbled away from the fire. Amongst all the red flames he saw the green ring still residing on the table. He was going to take it, then throw it far away so that Vlad would fetch it. The kitchen was now completely engulfed in fire. With one palm pressed above his left ear covered in blood, he made his way to the back door. He could hear Charity barking outside, as if it regretted living him.

It was a warm day and every police car and detective in town stood in front of the red cottage. Officer Meridian stood on the stone path. His partner Veronica stood by his side. Sam Meridian was a crime scene investigator. He began to speak in a low croaky voice, "It is 5 am in the morning. Write that to start the entry." Veronica was quickly jotting on her notepad. The pen clicking as she wrote. He continued. "Multiple drivers phoned in at about 1 am, with reports of large amounts of smoke from this area. Fire fighters were able to extinguish the fire before any permanent damage was done to the cottage." "What about the two men and the dog?" Veronica started. "Ronnie, do you really believe I forgot about them? It’s not that early in the morning. Leandro Green is in the hospital recovering. He needed stitches for a head cut, and he breathed in some smoke. Before I proceed, lets go around back so I can show you what happened." "Its so muddy here." Veronica pointed out as they were now standing on the earth in front of the back door. Meridian started "Here is what went down. Mr. Green was trying to run out of this back door. Judging by the damage done to the house, the kitchen was on fire the longest. Leandro took only a couple steps outside before getting out muscled by a man by the name of Vlad Zeal." The two police officers entered the ash filled room. Veronica pointed at the floor. There were clearly two sets of muddy shoe prints.


Leandro panicked as Vlad was slowly pushing him closer to the fire. "This place is going to rain wood on our heads! He roared. Are you out of your mind?" Vlad opened his eyes wide, they had found the ring on the table. Vlad hooked a single arm around Leandro's neck and began to drag him towards the flame-infested table. Leandro shut his eyes and thought he could hear a dog's gallop approaching. Vlad loosened his grip on Leandro and Charity chomped on Vlad's leg. Leandro sprung to his feet and screamed "Run girl!" A hand tightly clenched around his ankle. Vlad lay on his stomach with a maniacal glare of hatred. Leandro raised his other foot and stomped on the wrist creating a loud snap. Zeal hollered in pain and rolled onto his back, holding his wrist near his stomach. Leandro and Charity fled the house and came face to face with fire fighters who had parked behind his car.

"Unbelievable! Veronica exclaimed. Sounds like a movie script!" "Indeed. Meridian replied. Vlad escaped with a measly broken wrist and a few stitches on his leg. If I were the firemen I would've taken a coffee break before saving this crook."
"Where is he now?"
"In a different hospital.” Veronica shone her flashlight in the corners of the room. When she made her way into the kitchen, she found a green ring in the corner. The ring heroically stood on top of a small pile of ash.

"Officer Meridian, look what I found!" He strode towards her and had her drop it in an evidence bag. "Listen closely." He put his arm around her and they walked into the secluded bathroom. Nobody was around. To make sure, Sam Meridian looked around the corners and they were out of anyone’s ear range. "Listen closely, I had an affair in this cottage, I refuse to have this case trace back to me. A man was going to propose to his girlfriend while I was here. I swear this was the ring he was holding. He may have thought Leandro Green was me. Don't you dare say anything; I can have you fired right now. I'd hate to crush your career, especially since this is your first year and you worked so hard to get here. There is no way that he is getting less than ten years in prison. He has severely vandalized this house, along with attempted murder. Kind of a coincidence that Vlad and Green were here at the same time isn't it? Well, I own this cottage and I told Vlad by phone that Leandro is me, and was renting this week. I phoned him as a business man who had "heard rumours" that he wanted to get in touch with the man who had also paid for the rent the same time as Zeal's girlfriend. She was fixing to get back together with him. I couldn’t let that happen. So I set him up. I knew the man would do something violent. He fell for the trap and now he is taken care of. Jail will remove Vlad from my life. He's gone now. His girlfriend is mine."

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PostSubject: Re: BYD Story Green Ring- A thriller tale   Tue May 12, 2009 10:08 pm

Very, very good! I love your excellent sense of detail, I felt as though I was there. This is very well done, my friend!
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PostSubject: Re: BYD Story Green Ring- A thriller tale   Tue May 12, 2009 10:45 pm

Thank you my friend
=)

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PostSubject: Re: BYD Story Green Ring- A thriller tale   Thu May 14, 2009 10:52 am

Very nice job lol.
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PostSubject: Re: BYD Story Green Ring- A thriller tale   Thu May 14, 2009 6:17 pm

Thanks

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PostSubject: Re: BYD Story Green Ring- A thriller tale   Thu May 14, 2009 6:25 pm

My critique skillz are bleh right now for some reasong. =( I'll wright a paragraph on it later hahaha.
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PostSubject: Re: BYD Story Green Ring- A thriller tale   Thu May 14, 2009 9:25 pm

Axeforhire66 wrote:
Very, very good! I love your excellent sense of detail, I felt as though I was there. This is very well done, my friend!

You're welcome, guy. er... my friend.
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PostSubject: Re: BYD Story Green Ring- A thriller tale   Fri May 15, 2009 3:14 am

lol friendo
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PostSubject: Re: BYD Story Green Ring- A thriller tale   Fri May 15, 2009 6:58 pm

I am going to get a **** mark on this lol

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