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 I need to hire an assassin

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breakyoudown
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PostSubject: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 7:28 pm

The library calls and asks
"Is this David Finoro?"
I say yes
They tell me I owe them time cop, a dvd.
I'm like okay then hang up
I think that it must be something my dad took out then put under my name
My dad said that he never took something like that out
So I phone and there is another David Finoro in the city
Folks, there can only be one
I am hiring an assassin, please submit your resume and your special abilities

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 7:50 pm

My names Axe
I have an axe
'nuff said
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 7:52 pm

Any mention of being for hire?

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 7:54 pm

I am for hire, actually. You must be a mind reader, you sly, sly bastard
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 7:55 pm

I bet your phone number is just 66
Isn't it?
ISNT IT HISKAR?!

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 8:02 pm

Well.... there is one 6.


And I'm really thinking about changing my gamertag lol, but I don't want to pay 10 bucks to do so. Everyone seems to be fascinated by that name lol. And that was my way of paying homage to The Elder Scrolls....
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 8:11 pm

Do not change it
If anyone needs a change its me lol

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 9:09 pm

Well i have a hell of a resume and BYD i come cheap lol .. WILD TURKEY and the job will be done ..
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 9:49 pm

i murdered your whole family, and hired doubles.....10 years ago

im that stealthy.

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 10:09 pm

Brute was sent to kill his family
but he forgot the most important one one
And now the real David Finoro is out to get
Revenge
This is David Finoro in....
Identity Redemption
Rated R

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 10:12 pm

i read that with the deep "movie announcer" voice. ah ha

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 10:14 pm

I knew there was a guy who had the same name as my dad in my school
But me
This is personal

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Mon May 25, 2009 10:52 pm

Im "Cornholio The Cercenator"
I do free hits.

you choose the weapon.
you choose the torture TYPE and DURATION (duration between 1 day and 4 weeks)
If you decide to torture: you will pay the blood transfutions and clean the floor once a week.
Very discret.
Taxidermist too so if you want the disecated body...it will take 1 more week..but its free.


Call me 1-800-COOKIESANDCREAM
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 8:49 am

well i got one to top you all...
i'm styx. that should say it all
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 5:19 pm

What
The ****
I went to the dentist and there like there is another David Finoro
We differentiate you two by calling you David junior

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 5:21 pm

you sir, are joking. no way

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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breakyoudown
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 5:31 pm

I'm dead serious
I looked at the computer
It said
David Finoro Jr

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 5:39 pm

that must be you
is your dad named david?
or dan?
or daniel?
something where they confused you?

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 5:42 pm

My dad is Mike

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 5:56 pm

well shoot

i guess you need a hitman more than ever right now, eh?

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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breakyoudown
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 6:22 pm

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONEEEEEE
Where is that line from?

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 6:39 pm

HIGHLANDER!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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breakyoudown
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 7:20 pm

Explain the context
I am interested

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 7:24 pm

what do you mean? the famous quote "there can be only one" is from the movie highlander. i have never seen it, but it is a classic that has managed to seep into my brain without me seeing it ( i suppose robot chicken is responsible for this as well)

but i think they duel each other and cut off each others heads, shouting THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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breakyoudown
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Tue May 26, 2009 7:27 pm

Ahahahahaha
I am youtubing that

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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Wed May 27, 2009 2:17 am

Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem. Luckily I reside upstairs. Nevertheless, once every 5 minutes or so an ant comes trotting along my desk. First I place a coin or another object in its path. This confuses the ant, causing it to run off in a different direction, but my finger is waiting. I block its path with my finger. It runs in the opposite direction, but I anticipate this. Soon the ant is encircled by pens and other barriers, and if it attempts to climb them, swift punishment is issued. The ant remains in my arena. Then I take my knife, and nimbly place the tip onto one of its legs, holding it in place, then I press down hard and chop the leg off. The ant does not run, it merely enters a craze moving all around wildly. I allow it to suffer like this for a minute or so, chopping off another leg if it appears not to be in pain. Then comes a decision. Sometimes I will wait for another ant, and place it in the arena to see what it does. Occasionally it will pick up its comrade, and run off, but this is an offense punishable by death. Other times, I will merely watch the ant until it gives up. It will stop moving all but one leg. At this point I give in and slice the ant in two, putting it out of its misery. I save the corpses in a small pile, and once I have a considerable stack, I scatter them in my arena. This is where the real fun begins.

I venture outside to my back yard and find a red ant. This is my gladiator. I return to my room and place him in among the corpses. He wanders, confused. I do not let him leave. I pound the desk near him with my fingers, scaring him. I toughen my gladiator up until another ant comes along. I place the intruder into the arena. The red ant will go after the black ant, and they engage in mortal combat. If the red ant wins, another corpse decorates my arena. If the black ant vanquishes his foe, he wins the prize of life. I carry him in my hands and bring him downstairs and place him among his comrades. If he put up a good fight, I give him a warriors welcome and feed his colony with bread. If he barely defeated the red ant, he receives no food, only the gift of life.

And that's just what I do with ants hahaha.
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Wed May 27, 2009 2:21 am

*runs away screaming*

lina, you are that sadistic kid on the plaground. and i admire the hell outta you for that.

was that just a funny story written in the throws of slumber? or is this a casual tuesday??

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Wed May 27, 2009 2:39 am

Hahaha I was just bullshiting. In fact I stole it from some jerk-off on deviant art lol.
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Wed May 27, 2009 2:41 am

whew. thats better
still kudos for making me laugh.

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Wed May 27, 2009 2:43 am

I thought it was sick and funny. So it was perfect. I don't like hurting ants in real life. I rescue spiders and **** like that all the time.
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Wed May 27, 2009 2:46 am

Lina wrote:
I thought it was sick and funny. So it was perfect. I don't like hurting ants in real life. I rescue spiders and **** like that all the time.

ehh, usually, this will sound sick, it is too much to rescuse stuff like that. i loathe spiders and flys and such arent worth the trouble.
i have nursed a humming bird back to health. that ws very cool. i think i have pictures
and since we have lots of birds and birdseed, naturally there are lots of rodents. my mom sets the "have a heart" traps and she releases them mile a mile from our house.
but as of late there is one rat that is besting us. usually we get cute mice.....not this time....we have a big huge uglay as **** rat gobbling up all the birdseed. i told my mom i could get my hands on a pellet gun and maybe sit out there long enough to "tag" it. i dont care if it stuns, it, kills it, or scares the crap out of it, either way, we are not having that beast in our backyard much longer

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Wed May 27, 2009 1:31 pm

That was hilarious Lina!

"then they will engage in MORTAL KOMBAT!"
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Thu May 28, 2009 12:11 am

brutality,thynameismetal wrote:
Lina wrote:
I thought it was sick and funny. So it was perfect. I don't like hurting ants in real life. I rescue spiders and **** like that all the time.

ehh, usually, this will sound sick, it is too much to rescuse stuff like that. i loathe spiders and flys and such arent worth the trouble.
i have nursed a humming bird back to health. that ws very cool. i think i have pictures
and since we have lots of birds and birdseed, naturally there are lots of rodents. my mom sets the "have a heart" traps and she releases them mile a mile from our house.
but as of late there is one rat that is besting us. usually we get cute mice.....not this time....we have a big huge uglay as **** rat gobbling up all the birdseed. i told my mom i could get my hands on a pellet gun and maybe sit out there long enough to "tag" it. i dont care if it stuns, it, kills it, or scares the crap out of it, either way, we are not having that beast in our backyard much longer

I kill like ants and flys but I don't enjoy it.
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PostSubject: Re: I need to hire an assassin   Thu May 28, 2009 12:21 am

well, i dont relish the feeling either......but i always feel like a beast when i get one that has been annoying me for some amount of time.

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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