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 Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois

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PostSubject: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Wed Aug 05, 2009 1:46 pm

Come one come all to the tale I will tell thee.

Okay, so I went to Illinois for a week right? And here's a few things that happened while I was there.

I went on a cattle drive and two things happened. Before I begin, I will say that was my first time riding a horse around so I didn't die and did pretty good apparently. Anyway, when we started going out, we saw, I s*** YOU NOT, nuns, in the middle of f***ing nowhere. Now normally we just would've gone right past them, but since it was so unbearably random, we went out and talked to them. They apparently went on a hike and got lost so we gave them some water and pointed them in the right direction. I personally think they were abducting children and converting them to their religion ( I don't know if they were christian nuns or f***ing satanic weirdo nuns). Second, I had to kill a cow because it broke 3 of it's legs from getting trampled and nobody else would do it and everyone else was crying. So I took my uncles shotgun, walked up to it, and shot it in the face. We ate the cow afterwards, so we didn't just kill it for nothing. And that ends the cattle drive.

Second, I got kicked in the gut by a horse. It didn't do any permanent harm but holy jesus f***ing mary did it hurt. I have a nasty bruise and that's the end of that.

Third, I got revenge on my cousin. He is a fat, douchebag, jock, asshole, motherfuck that kept making fun of my music last time I was there, calling it screamo and also trying to be cool. So when he was sleeping, me and my older cousin snuck quietly into his room and gave him a titty twister, I backhanded him twice, and my cousin punched him under the ribcage and in the nuts. So he got what he had coming.

Fourth, I got to see my uncles arsenal of weapons. It would make and gun lover proud, I will tell you that right now. I stopped counting at 250 guns, so he did well for it. I got to trade my Uzi I inherited for a M16 which I also got with a front grip and a scope, a handy little weapon. I went to shoot alll my guns, and that was fun too.

That's all I can think of at the moment, but there ya go. Axe could help touch up on anything I didn't add.
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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Wed Aug 05, 2009 7:14 pm

That is pretty damn awesome
Cool story bro
Haha nuns- they need to lrn2live
Shooting a cow with a shotgun that is manly- I'd do it too
Why did the horse kick you?
Also epic revenge- that is savage

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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 1:03 am

It was one f***ing mean horse. It just kicked me.
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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 1:26 am

Should've punched it in the face like in blazing saddles

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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 1:29 am

hahaha, yea.
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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 1:36 am

So who cleaned up the cow mess?

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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:14 am

We ate the cow so my uncle did lol.
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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:21 am

wait, how would axe help you with stories you missed?

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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:29 am

I told him before I wrote this.
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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:34 am

ahhh
i thought he was an estranged brother or something lool

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Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:49 am

Well, no he isn't lol.
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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:43 pm

That would have been too badass if we could have hung out. He was probably 4 hours away from my house, too bad I can't drive my truck right now.

I believe he also got a new guitar, an Ibanez uhhhhhhh the K shaped model. I forget the name. I'm pretty sure that's the only thing you told me that you didn't tell them.



Oh, and thanks link, for the satanic weirdo nuns! lol
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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:58 pm

OH YEA! I forgot to mention my Xiphos, Oli in All That Remains and Muhammed Suicmez uses one.
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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:59 pm

link wrote:
OH YEA! I forgot to mention my Xiphos, Oli in All That Remains and Muhammed Suicmez uses one.

thats because Oli is amazing
i met him
cool dude

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Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:01 pm

Yea, he has the worse model though lol. Muhammed's is deluxe. And I got the ok one.
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PostSubject: Re: Link's Strange Escapades in Illinois   Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:34 pm

yes, the Xiphos
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