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 My GODDAMN adventures!

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Axe
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PostSubject: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:58 am

So, tonight my brother asked me to go to the GODDAMN store for some bread, because he was making bacon and SHIT and wanted bread. So, I asked if I could drive his MOTHERFUCKING car because mine was almost out of gas. He gives me the GODDAMN keys to the GODDAMN car and I proceed to the GODDAMN store, which is about 1 GODDAMN mile from my house. I get there, go in with my MOTHERFUCKING two dollars and buy the cheapest loaf I can find. I found one that was only 99 GODDAMN cents, and I go to the checkout and the lady says "Your GODDAMN total will be f***ing 99 Cents". So, I give her one of the MOTHERFUCKING dollars and leave with with my f***ing bread. I get into my brothers car (which is a GODDAMN 2001 Chrysler Concorde) and turn the GODDAMN key. Nothing happens. I turn it again, and the radio and lights and SHIT flicker. I turn it another GODDAMN time and the car completely FUCKS up. It rejects the key by not letting me f***ing turn it again. So I say "GODDAMMIT" and sit there. A few GODDAMN seconds later a MOTHERFUCKING man comes out to get into his car, which is adjacent to mine, and asks if I need f***ing help. So, I told him that the GODDAMN car isn't f***ing working right and I asked if I could borrow his GODDAMN phone. So he says "Sure, here you f***ing go GODDAMMIT". I use the phone to call my brother, who was at home making f***ing bacon. I tell him "Your GODDAMN car wont start! FUCK" and he says he'll be right over. So he gets into my car, which I purposely didn't take to begin with because the GODDAMN fuel tanks was out of f***ing gas. He brings Michael, my friend who is living with us, and brings my jumper cables. When he gets there, we get it all hooked up and my brother begins to start his car. All of a sudden, my GODDAMN car dies. f***. So, my brother calls my mother and she comes with her GODDAMN car. But, right before she gets there my f***ing car starts! So, we try to jump it again and it doesn't work. Next, a GODDAMN person pulls up and gets out to do shopping, and notices we have three GODDAMN cars parked with their hoods open. He was a hispanic who spoke poor f***ing english, and he offers to let us use his car to jump my brothers. So, we pop his hood and try to jump it and it doesn't f***ing work. I then asked my mom for GODDAMN money because I was pretty much completely out of gas now that my brother drove my GODDAMN car. So, she gets all f***ing pissed off and says "Here's some f***ing money, son" and gives m ten dollars to put in my car. I drive to the nearest f***ing gas station and put it in, and go f***ing home because none of our cars will jump his and I need to go to sleep.

f***, what a bad night

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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:23 am

Oh...my...Axe you really did it this time. You're f***ing killing me.

I will vote for this thread next come around. This is the best thread ever.
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:28 am

omg , Sorry brother but that was just funny as hell ! + rep
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:14 am

Wow man that sucks but it was funny.
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breakyoudown
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:50 pm

Hah cool story bro
Awesome

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Brute
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:08 pm

i think this sort of humor has passed me by. glad you took the time to type something...but i just wasnt feeling it

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
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Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
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No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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Axe
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:01 pm

This really happened to me Brute. That was a bad night

Well, I'm glad some of you found enjoyment in my pain. I guess Brute I should take the fact that this didn't entertain you as a complement lol

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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:35 pm

Yeah you can't say you're surprised by what Brute said.
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Axe
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:37 pm

I just have a feeling that...

nevermind

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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:39 pm

It's not my favorite type of humor at all but like with music I'm pretty easy to please and long term gimmicks involving character can really get to me.
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:41 pm

nice story lol
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Axe
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:44 pm

Yeah I guess some people don't enjoy other people's misfortunes lol.

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Brute
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:27 am

oh, i dont ENJOY misfortunes, but sometimes they are funny ....but i just dont care for the style with all the cursing. i have no problem with it, it is just forced. im glad everyone else liked it

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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breakyoudown
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:35 am

What the f*** brute? Why don't you GODAMN like it. You think its f***ing forced? I'll f***ing show you. You can burn in heck.

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Brute
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:36 am

HOW DARE YOU SIR, CENSOR THE WORD H#LL!!!
THAT IS SO LOW

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Dark94Flame wrote:
Blink 182?
Byd, this is how it starts, you know. One day it's "I like Blink 182", the next it's "I think I like men".
Master Cthulhu wrote:
Where Bathory was an iron broadsword, this band is a big plastic one with "viking!" written on it in sparkly purple magic marker.
sarainadream wrote:
No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.
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breakyoudown
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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:45 am

Darn you! Perish you swine dang you! You monkey fighting guy!

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PostSubject: Re: My GODDAMN adventures!   Sat Sep 19, 2009 1:01 am

f***ing peddlers.
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