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Axe
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PostSubject: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:20 am

So there's this girl I like, she sits next to me in my Genetics/Ethics class. We have become pretty good friends, but she has a boyfriend. She has also brought up numerous times for some reason that she hates when people befriend her and ask her out later.

What the HELL should I do? GODDAMMIT!

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:32 am

Do you know how she got together with her boyfriend?
Also, try not to hit on someone with a boyfriend, its just bad karma

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Last edited by breakyoudown on Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:36 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:35 am

Amen.
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:39 am

Well, she told me the story. Apparently she was with another boyfriend or something, and she knew this guy, and her last boyfriend pissed her off and they hung out and started dating or something. It was awhile ago

I don't know if I should strike her boyfriend or something. This is just not a good situation, we've become good friends so that's already against her rules. She's already told me the story of how one of her best friends has asked her out numerous times to no avail.

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:41 am

I got angry when ppl hit on my ex, just watch out lol
Also, if she would dump someone for you, she might do it to you

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:42 am

Yes, but she is very funny, and very good looking. This is the first time I have wanted to ask a girl out in over two years

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:44 am

Dude hot chicks hang out with hot chicks .. Have her to ook you up with a hot friend ..
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:45 am

I don't think that's quite what axe wants lol

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:45 am

Well, you might have to let this one go. I know it's tempting, but her wants and needs are conflicting. If you really want to, go for it, don't give a shit about the other guy and try it. But only if the situation allows it.

Oh, and hate has an excellent point too lol.
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Axe
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:45 am

Actually hate, she is incredibly hot but hangs out with nerdy people. She looks like a f***ing prep and wears hollister and shit, and is incredibly pretty, but her personality is that of a nerd

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:47 am

The fact that she is gorgeous isn't the only reason I want to date her. We have become very good friends in a very short period of time, our personalities match very well from what I see.

I don't want to piss her off though. I want her to stay a close friend even if I don't date her

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:50 am

Then, I would recommend just fore going the relationship and just being good friends with her, you may hook up sooner or later, but you most likely shouldn't push it. Just be friendly and not get too attached.
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:56 am

Sounds like good advice. Just been wondering if it would be worth it. I guess I'll just be cool and see what happens

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:57 am

I don't wanna sound like I am crushing your hopes man, it's just the best thing to do for now.
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:58 am

Axeforhire wrote:
The fact that she is gorgeous isn't the only reason I want to date her. We have become very good friends in a very short period of time, our personalities match very well from what I see.

I don't want to piss her off though. I want her to stay a close friend even if I don't date her
Ok , Now your making the old man come out of me .. Look ask yourself if being friends then moving up to dating is what you want .. Yes dating has its perks , You have a friend , someone to talk to , sex , ect .. But if she gets pissed off you lose it all .. Now do you want the friendship now and later or more till the next guy steps up and karm kicks you in the ass .. BTW Check out the metal news axe i posted some dio stuff just for you brother ..
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 1:11 am

That's essentially my dilemma. But she seems like such an awesome girl, I don't come across many that I am attracted to that would potentially date me. Not that I have trouble with girls really, but I'm not the kind of guy that dates tons and tons of girls to find one he likes. I wait until I find a girl that I like, then ask her out.

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 6:03 am

well your style beats being a man whore. and yes i know i just put down myself, no need to point it out.
anyway you can really think about it or go with the way of the a-hole. sometimes it works, sometimes you get her foot in your nuts.
basically the a-hole way is simple - take her to the side, or try to go out for a cup of coffee or a beer with her. just get some one on one time. and say that you are having a shit load of chick trouble. basically it is the truth. anyway tell her the root of your problem - that you find her interesting as a female, not just as a friend and that ain't good because it can screw up things between you and you know how much she hates that. if she doesn't slap you 'till then you're pretty much good off and you can ask if she has an idea how to fix that issue without you ending your relationship.

now do you see why it's the a-hole way? because you can lose it all before you even reach the end of your sentence.
and what byd pointed out - guys tend to hate it when someone is hitting on their gf's. only thing is in what degree. some guys get like that if you just walk pass by their gf and some will turn you into a decomposing carcass if you allow yourself too much.

all in all it's your call, and it's a big one. actually before you do anything i'll do sth that none of us has thought of doing - i'll see what my gf thinks on the subject so at least you'll get a female perspective on it.
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 8:57 am

I suppose one way would be to just be cool for just now and maybe ask he out sometime later, like if she splits up with her boyfriend.

Or on the other hand, you could go for it now and just make it pretty clear that you didn't become friends with her just to ask her out and that you'd still want to be friends if she turned you down.

If you're worried about losing her as a friend then just make sure she knows that you like her as a friend, too. I've recently been out with one of my best friends and now that it's finished, we're still really good friends. It was akward for a couple of days after we split, but I just tried my best to still be friends with her and it worked out fine. Just do that and, if she's reasonable then she'll be cool about it.

My advice would be to wait it out for a while, though. You'd have much more chance if she ever split up with her boyfriend and if it looks like it's not gonna happen then you might have to just let it go, man.
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 3:26 pm

Thanks for the advice guys, you all really gave me some new perspectives on this. And styx, that would be good, although I think for now I'm just going to be cool about it. But it would be nice to have a female perspective on this.

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Sun Nov 29, 2009 3:47 pm

i asked her. so soon you'll get a female perspective on this. btw if a member by the name gecko appears that could very likely be her
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Mon Nov 30, 2009 10:45 am

ok here's what she said:
"How much do you really like her? Because that answer greatly affects any decision that you are going to take. So think that through carefully. If you really do like her then tell her the truth. It does not matter if she has a boyfriend now or not. Its better that you let her know now than to wait till you two become closer friends and then she ends up feeling lied too and betrayed later on. You already like her, and want more than just to be a simple friend. So in the end any true friendship between the both of you wont workout and be completely false on your part. Be honest with her. "
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:31 pm

How happy is she with her current bf?

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Mon Nov 30, 2009 3:27 pm

Axeforhire wrote:
Thanks for the advice guys, you all really gave me some new perspectives on this. And styx, that would be good, although I think for now I'm just going to be cool about it. But it would be nice to have a female perspective on this.

I agree with what Styx's friend said, I say you tell her in person (Not by IM, phone or text I know girls who simply say no to guys for not asking them in person) and also if she really likes you she'll probably ignore the whole not dating friends rules and it also would be a good thing since you really seem to like her and this would be a good way to find out if she's not just half interested in you.
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:50 pm

Oooh damn, that makes it more complicated. Lol I think I like her a lot, I mean I'm not going to say I love her or anything, but I really feel like we connect well and this is the first time in awhile that I've met a girl that I really wanted to date. I have some thinking to do...

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:43 pm

I knew my ex for 8 months and it was too soon to say I love you
You have been warned lol

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:55 pm

Brother just dont do like i did ok .. Date for 2 years , married for 13 years , split for 3 months , and now live in girlfriend ,, Yea that way is the wrong way ..
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:14 am

breakyoudown wrote:
Also, try not to hit on someone with a boyfriend, its just bad karma
I went there, and look how it turned out for me? Lmao.
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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Tue Dec 01, 2009 2:55 am

Don't encourage it flames- its quite hurtful

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PostSubject: Re: This man requires assistance   Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:13 am

ultimately it's your choice. and i know why my gf said that, and somehow i don't think you want the faith of the person that she used as a reference tool.
oh and hate - it's not the wrong way. it's just unorthodox. she fucked up, she realized certain things in life and now she's back. only thing that she needs to learn now is that if you want money to spend you need to get a f***ing job
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