Tip of the Hat


 
HomeHome  GalleryGallery  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  

Share | 
 

 BYD Stand up comedy part 2

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
breakyoudown
Feeling brassic
Feeling brassic
avatar

Number of posts : 27750
Hedonistic Glory : 25403
Reputation : 302
Joined In : 2008-08-28
Age : 26

PostSubject: BYD Stand up comedy part 2   Fri Mar 26, 2010 1:01 pm

Original BYD Comedy
http://tipofthehat.forumsmusic.com/creative-endeavours-f14/i-wrote-some-stand-up-comedy-t5818.htm

I was really excited to write this, had a lot of fun. Enjoy!

Do you ever notice that there isn’t a single person who hates restaurants? Everyone gets so excited at the instant a restaurant is mentioned. And then the question of doom is asked. Where do you want to eat? Because the instant that you think of a place you want to go, you do not want to go anywhere else. If the choice in restaurant is against your favour you might hear the biggest lie ever. “Oh well go there next time!” No you wont, don’t believe it for a second. So you get to the place finally and a waiter appears. Its such an odd thing when you meet your waiter for the first time. You know that they are there to help you but every once in a while you’ll just be disappointed when you see them for the first time and they aren’t the way you pictured them. Like when you go to a Chinese restaurant and a white girl with blonde hair is serving you. I mean its alright and everything, but you know that its taking you out of the experience. Its like a sibling introduces you to there spouse and you’re all excited to meet them and they seem pretty cool and you’re glad to have this person as a step brother/sister. And then you find out they like family circus. Okay so anyways the waiter asks the question about drinks. I usually just order water and then they sometimes ask if I want ice or a lemon. Like I’m going to taste either of those things in my water. Seriously the drinks are so specific. One day I am just going to go on a total rant.

“Yes I would like a cola please. An RC cola. Fill the cup 1/12th of the way with ice. And when you’re at the pop machine please don’t fill the rest of the cup in one long pump, I don’t like the way it fizzes, the dispersion of the liquid ruins the flavour. Can you do quick pumps? Try to fill the cup in around 11 of them. And each time add a little bit less.”

So the other day I was pretty hungry you know? Now I never eat breakfast because I wake up too late. But this day I woke up at 8am and I was straight up starving. So I headed to the cafeteria in residence and I start to hear this really REALLY annoying beeping noise. I then see a lit up sign that read, “FIRE do not enter.” Now I paused for a moment to think about this. I was pretty hungry plus there was a dude behind me who would think I’m psychotic if I walked up to a door and just paused. So I went on through obviously. Now I see people exiting the building and to my horror I see a worker pulling the gate across the café, closing it. It was utter chaos! There were people running around, on the phones, madness. So again, I had a choice: turn around and go back to my room and risk looking like a maniac turning around spontaneously, never turn around out of nowhere, you will instantly stand out. I didn't have my phone on me so I couldn't look at my phone and pretend that I saw a message telling me to go somewhere. Or I could leave the building and do nothing. Knowing the effects of turning around I begin to leave. Before I reached for the door this lady told me that I was going to freeze outside. For some reason I just looked at her and didn’t say anything. Here I am worrying about being perceived as a serial killer and here I am blankly staring at this lady who was talking to me. Anyways I decide to either: go to the gym in jeans, or go to Harvey’s. The choice was obvious. So as I was pondering whether or not I wanted a hamburger or chicken fingers I saw this guy on a payphone moving his hands and lips but I couldn’t hear him at all. Now the room was loud and all, but man I was close to him. So as I approached I knew that there was no going back. I could not live my life knowing that he may not have been speaking. So I casually curved my path and walked close enough to him so that my shoulder almost brushed against his. He was indeed talking, that was the quietest conversation ever. He wasn’t even whispering. Well at least he could talk and he didn’t just blankly stare at the phone. Anyways, I get a double original bacon cheeseburger and fries and I was finally full. Wow I ended a story with me eating a cheeseburger…


Thanks you guys are awesome!

_________________
From this moment forth, my thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Darkflame
Problem Child
avatar

Number of posts : 8102
Hedonistic Glory : 11441
Reputation : 49
Joined In : 2009-10-26
Age : 23
Location : Scotland

PostSubject: Re: BYD Stand up comedy part 2   Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:32 pm

THat was pretty good. My only criticism is to try nad make a more clear puchline at the end of your anecdotes.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
breakyoudown
Feeling brassic
Feeling brassic
avatar

Number of posts : 27750
Hedonistic Glory : 25403
Reputation : 302
Joined In : 2008-08-28
Age : 26

PostSubject: Re: BYD Stand up comedy part 2   Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:33 pm

Thanks man =D
Best part?

_________________
From this moment forth, my thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Darkflame
Problem Child
avatar

Number of posts : 8102
Hedonistic Glory : 11441
Reputation : 49
Joined In : 2009-10-26
Age : 23
Location : Scotland

PostSubject: Re: BYD Stand up comedy part 2   Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:37 pm

Hmm... I liked the rant about the drinks. I could imagine seeing a joke like that on TV or something.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
VacuousReality
...
...


Number of posts : 5941
Hedonistic Glory : 9842
Reputation : 115
Joined In : 2009-02-18
Location : USA

PostSubject: Re: BYD Stand up comedy part 2   Mon Mar 29, 2010 4:58 am

Haha that was entertaining to read. I love your knowledge. I sometimes turn around in the middle of no where and yeah it's pretty intense.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
breakyoudown
Feeling brassic
Feeling brassic
avatar

Number of posts : 27750
Hedonistic Glory : 25403
Reputation : 302
Joined In : 2008-08-28
Age : 26

PostSubject: Re: BYD Stand up comedy part 2   Mon Mar 29, 2010 7:28 pm

Thank you sir =D

_________________
From this moment forth, my thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Master Cthulhu
Gentleman and a Scholar
avatar

Number of posts : 3626
Hedonistic Glory : 2147486684
Reputation : 61
Joined In : 2009-08-16

PostSubject: Re: BYD Stand up comedy part 2   Mon Mar 29, 2010 11:50 pm

breakyoudown wrote:

“Yes I would like a cola please. An RC cola. Fill the cup 1/12th of the way with ice. And when you’re at the pop machine please don’t fill the rest of the cup in one long pump, I don’t like the way it fizzes, the dispersion of the liquid ruins the flavour. Can you do quick pumps? Try to fill the cup in around 11 of them. And each time add a little bit less.”

comedic gold
Back to top Go down
View user profile
breakyoudown
Feeling brassic
Feeling brassic
avatar

Number of posts : 27750
Hedonistic Glory : 25403
Reputation : 302
Joined In : 2008-08-28
Age : 26

PostSubject: Re: BYD Stand up comedy part 2   Tue Mar 30, 2010 2:36 am

I really appreciate it =)

_________________
From this moment forth, my thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: BYD Stand up comedy part 2   

Back to top Go down
 
BYD Stand up comedy part 2
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Billy Connolly:modern comics "killing stand-up comedy
» Fantasy Group RP Part 3 Archived
» Casey Anthony Trial Day 10: FBI agent Karen Lowe Testifies about Death Band Hair
» Labours Legacy
» omg i just listerned to the jeremy vines show on mp3

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Tip of the Hat :: Preposterous Palaver and Infinite Jest-
Jump to: