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 Horror movies I feel like reviewing

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breakyoudown
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PostSubject: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:59 am

Funny Games
Story
Summary in a line-Two young men walk into a neighbours house, injure the father and begin to start the "games"
This movie does not take long to mess with you. In the opening credits you see a family driving a vehicle and suddenly their conversation is drown out by screamo. What? This movie really has no business having plot and it works well because the two men seem to have appeared out of nowhere, which captures the pure insanity.
5/10
Fear Meter
There is nothing scary about the two men, they are insane, but nothing is scary about them. But the overall tension of the movie will leave you uneasy the whole time as the family is toyed with. The men also communicate with the audience a number of times which is surprising to say the least. And that remote scene? Wow I was pissed.
7.5/10
Enjoyable?
8.5/10
Yes

Devil
Summary in a line- Five people are trapped in an elevator, one by one they slowly start to die when the lights go out.
Story
M.Knight Shamamamamlon redeems himself here. The movie has reason for the events that take place and the ending is satisfying. Some truly likable and stereotypical characters are present to reveal plot. *The security guard that knows everything about the devil because he's religious.* Wow.
8/10

Fear meter
It just wasn't scary. It was more of a violent drama or a thriller. Only one moment had me worried and the thing I was worried about didn't end up happening. Violence is fairly consistent, but there isn't any jump scares- rather quick realizations that you and characters make at the same time.
5/10

Enjoyable? Definitely
9/10

Inland Empire
Summary in a line-Woman gets a role in a movie and realizes that its a remake, and in the original both leads actually died.
Story
It kind of makes sense for one hour out the whooping three, then it starts to be simply ridiculous where the most disconnected things would start happening for seemingly no reason. Seriously, this is not possible to follow. Example main character goes into a building, a bunch of girls start dancing then disappear in mid song then it cuts to people with rabbit heads and a laugh track plays....Did I mention this is 3 hours?
2/10

Fear

Some parts are scary, mainly because it will be out of the blue and it gets so loud and the camera angles are just stupid sometimes with the focus incredibly woobly and close to peoples faces. David Lynch what the hell are you doing with your life?
3/10
Enjoyable?
For the first hour, then it might as well be in Latin, and a documentary on how to not make a movie.
3.5/10

Hellraiser Series
Summary in a line-Victim either accidentally solves the puzzle, or solves the puzzlebox out of pure greed -demons come out.
Story
When you open the box demons take your soul to hell and torture you for life, this happens in all 8 movies, now I don't know what the people who intentionally open it are looking for. One more inconsistency I have to point out: in the early movies sometimes the bad guys force the smart good guys to open the box for them. In the later movies blokes solve the puzzle with the most accidental brush against in. Seriously, once someone was just merely holding it and the fucking thing was solved somehow. If they were playing PS3 and pressed Square they would solve the puzzle. Anyway so the series strives on bringing the antagonist Pinhead in every movie, the main character is usually different. Pinhead is rarely seen in the first movies, but when he is its great because his booming voice and extremely high IQ is fun to hear, although he progressively becomes a little stupid in the later movies. The movies start out with the Evil Dead classic horror movie feel from 1-3 as they are old low budget movies. Four puts a spin on things screwing with time, and goes way the hell in the future. Five and six are extremely good. They are very very psychological and will scare the crap out of you with pure atmosphere. Nothing will make sense, but you will be able to follow it. A perfect peak for the series. 7 starts to get too cute with things and ends up being fairly awful. 8 was made in the same year as 7 and boy does it blow. It has the characters take place in the real world where Hellraiser is a movie. Wow good one.
Overall they are usually good to awesome
8.5/10

Fear Meter
Most of them have select scenes of violence but aren't really scary. Five and Six peak as they are made recent enough to have a good quality production and isn't too new to be a fucking sellout like 7-8. Seriously those are just shit movies with Pinhead thrown in. Out of the 8 movies, most of the time you probably will be more uneasy then afraid in some parts. How do I rate 8 movies? Really lol, let me order them from best to 7 and 8.
Five
Six
One
Four
Two
Three

Gap

Seven
Eight
Fear meter 7/10

Enjoyable? Would I watch 8 if they all sucked?
8.5/10

American Psycho
Summary in a line- Business man has the unstoppable urge to kill and to do ungodly things.
Story
So Patrick kills someone fairly early in the movie. A detective is hired on the case. When he interviews Patrick you really never know what he's thinking. Sometimes he seems to be on Patrick's side thinking he's innocent, and others you think for sure he knows he did it. The story is told in a fairly intelligent way, it was based off a book so you get the feel of the thinking man....When he thinks. Also, the movie ends with a fairly huge curveball, open to interpret

Fear meter
Are you going to be afraid of the main character? That depends, the stuff happens is certainly disturbing and sometimes you only realize things as the victims do which is a nice effect. But there really is only one scary part and its wayyy over the top you'll be more surprised then scared.
5.5/10

Enjoyable? Absolutely
9/10

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sat Jan 29, 2011 3:23 pm

lol hellraiser. cool list though. havent really seen any of them

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sat Jan 29, 2011 6:03 pm

Nice list, but shame on you for not liking Inland Empire. David Lynch is a god among men.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:19 pm

I really liked Mulholland Drive
Inland Empire was too much lol

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:19 pm

Kinda wanted to see Devil but I heard a lot of very mixed reviews of it.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sun Jan 30, 2011 9:35 pm

Don't listen to movie critics, its a fun viewing that is very short and doesn't waste time

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:06 pm

Case 39
Summary in a line- Girl is born with a demon soul, child services takes her away from her parents because they tried to kill her

Story
The main character adopts this child, Lilth. Lilth finds out what your worst fear is and then uses it to make you see things. Its one of those movies that has such a basic template. Girl kills some good people, then the main character is very afraid. Then the main character tries to kill the girl, doesn't work after a few tries. Ending scene occurs and wraps things up
6.9/10

Fear meter
It was scary at the start because I never saw it coming that the girls personality would change so drastically, but you get used to it fast.
7/10

Enjoyable? Yeah its a decent watch
7.5/10

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:59 am

Paranormal Activity 2
Summary- Demon torments family as seen on security cameras
Story- Nearly identical as the first except way worse. The story is barely worth mentioning, its a bunch of unrelated scenes. The movie does something that I have never seen done ever before. Here is a timeline for you
Paranormal activity 2- Beginning- Middle- Paranormal Activity 1 now occurs- Paranormal activity 2 ends now. And what a lazy ending it was, it literally wraps itself up so fast you wont have time to be afraid

Get the fuck out.
4/10

Fear
The movie is guilty of using the EXACT same scares as the first and the ones it makes up itself are mostly bad. Usually you will stare at nothing happening for a very long time and then something really fucking loud will happen scaring the crap out of you. That is cheap, stop that. There is no pacing in this movie either. Good pacing is like a rollercoaster, this is more like vital signs. Every morning the pool cleaner is out of the pool, godamn the entire movie seems to be focused on that godamn thing. Granted one segment was creepy but it was fairly brief.

6.5/10

Enjoyable? Yeah kind of, there is a lot of build up with a little bit of pay. If you haven't seen the first I'm sure this is going to ruin it forever.
6/10

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Tue Feb 01, 2011 4:02 am

PA sucked hard, so I would doubt PA2 would be any good. Blair Witch is where it's at.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:20 pm

I'm sick of that movie, I've seen it at least 3 times and its just stressful to see now lol

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:32 pm

I've seen it like 5 times, and while it's no longer "scary" it stills gives a creepy vibe.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Tue Feb 01, 2011 3:57 pm

I thought the original PA was much scarier. They both had good pacing but PA just seemed to have more consistent fear, days slowly grew shorter, longer night scenes. Blair Witch ended really fast

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Tue Feb 01, 2011 5:15 pm

I thought PA kept ruining the tension whenever it went back to daylight and the ending was god awful. Blair Witch was consistent throughout and the ending was pretty damn awesome.

Seriously, if the non-scary parts of a horror movie are better than the scary parts you know something's wrong.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Tue Feb 01, 2011 5:22 pm

The characters in Blair Witch are so real to the point that its almost not fun watching them. Josh was interesting, but he didn't have really a ton of dialog

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Tue Feb 01, 2011 8:43 pm

Trve dat
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Wed Feb 02, 2011 2:13 am

The Collector
Summary-Guy goes to rob a house, finds out another guy broke in and set up traps torturing people first

Story
So the main character (Rob?) breaks in and finds out the family is being tortured in the basement, there is no way out and nearly everything is rigged so that if you touch it something will probably kill you. Its really frustrating because apparently everyone is completely stupid in this movie if they are good. I don't want to ruin anything but god nobody thinks. The ending will make you cringe
5/10

Fear
This is an extremely violent movie, a lot of people die in extremely brutal ways and there is a ton of tension. I don't even want to talk about this, its an entertaining movie, but man is it ever violent
7/10

Enjoyable? It has its moments, I wouldn't watch it twice
6.5/10

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:57 pm

Have you seen Human Centipede yet? It's going to become of of those cult horror films and I'm not really sure why. I hated it so much I turned it off. I never turn off movies. The characters had a chance to escape and did not take it. The whole "scientifically correct" idea bugs me because really, how could people be expected to survive like that? It's just screaming and sobbing, non stop. The whole "swallow it!" part was the end of it for me. Then again, any movies whose focus and driving factor is torture does not do it for me.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Thu Feb 10, 2011 7:54 pm

Why would you watch that over the 100 other movies on your list?

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Fri Feb 11, 2011 12:24 pm

breakyoudown wrote:
Why would you watch that over the 100 other movies on your list?

It was streaming on Justintv and came on after watching Dawn of the Dead for the 500th time. Don't worry, I'm going through the list.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Fri Feb 11, 2011 5:54 pm

I didn't even think PA was scary in the slightest. Everyone else was shitting themselves and I was just sitting like "meh". I actually ended up predicting what was gonna happen and about 90% of the time I was completely right.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:06 am

Insidious

Story- A couple moves into a new house thinking its haunted. Actually there son is the one who is attracting demons because he is having out of body experiences and demons are trying to possess him. One of the demons is a badass mofo.
8/10

Fear- A very scary movie, it will range from jump scares to never ending drawn out scares that feel like they go on forever in atmosphere
9/10

Enjoyable?
Go see this

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:02 pm

i might

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:13 pm

One of my friends spilt his drink on me from jumping lol

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:27 pm

Horror movies these days suck...

Man, I miss films like The Omen: flicks these days have no tension or class.

I suppose Antichrist was okay, though it wasn't a horror film in the conventional sense and some scenes were hard to watch (genital crushing, no thanks) it at least had some originality to it.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Wed Apr 06, 2011 2:09 pm

Torture porn is the lowest form of horror

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Wed Apr 06, 2011 4:01 pm

Dies Irae wrote:
Horror movies these days suck...

Man, I miss films like The Omen: flicks these days have no tension or class.

I suppose Antichrist was okay, though it wasn't a horror film in the conventional sense and some scenes were hard to watch (genital crushing, no thanks) it at least had some originality to it.

you get a fucking rep. the original omen is my favorite scary movie. i cant take many horror movies seriously but the omen had this fucking aura about it that just creeps you the fuck out. the first time i saw it (granted i was really young) i couldnt go to bed because i kept fucking hearing voices. lol. the remake wasnt too bad either. most movies i end up just laughing at. me and my friends have a habbit of making fun of horror movies- could be a bad thing. like, i cant even take the shining seriously.

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:14 pm

LOR wrote:
like, i cant even take the shining seriously.
That's because you're a cultural zealot that deserves to be killed in an imaginatively horrific fashion.






















































Preferably by Jack Nicholson.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Wed Apr 06, 2011 9:52 pm

I saw Quarantine recently and was kinda surprised at how good at was.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Wed Apr 06, 2011 11:41 pm

Darkflame wrote:
LOR wrote:
like, i cant even take the shining seriously.
That's because you're a cultural zealot that deserves to be killed in an imaginatively horrific fashion.






















































Preferably by Jack Nicholson.

you missed the imaginative part

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Wed Apr 06, 2011 11:48 pm

PortraitOfSanity wrote:
I saw Quarantine recently and was kinda surprised at how good at was.

It isn't bad. I liked the original [Rec] better because it lacked about 20-30 min of just general bullshit dialogue with no purpose and got to the story faster. Also liked the actors a bit better but generally same movie que for que.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Thu Apr 07, 2011 12:02 pm

breakyoudown wrote:
Torture porn is the lowest form of horror

agreed. i was flipping through movies on Justintv and the scene was a naked girl tied down and screaming, while a doctor cut the implant out of her boob.
Guh. The screams of torture movies ring in my ears and make me want to kick the TV over and shake my fist at the genre as a whole.

I heard that Insidious movie is basically Poltergeist.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Thu Apr 07, 2011 1:17 pm

Haven't seen Poltergeist

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sat Apr 09, 2011 6:13 pm

I saw The Shining. It's the greatest movie ever made.

FUCK YOU LOR!!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sat Apr 09, 2011 6:22 pm

Its very good yeah. Stanley Kubrick is one sick fuck

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sun Apr 10, 2011 4:24 am

Darkflame wrote:
I saw The Shining. It's the greatest movie ever made.

FUCK YOU LOR!!!!!

Average Stephen King book makes for average film. As a horror flick it fails because it isn't scary in the slightest.

Watched Saw 4: I cried, mourning the death of good film making.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sun Apr 10, 2011 3:56 pm

the scenes where it tries to be scary are laughable to me

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sun Apr 10, 2011 9:52 pm

It isn't scary, it's far more disturbing than it is scary.

Plus....Jack. Fucking. Nicholson.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:07 pm

The Shining is a damn great movie, just not a horror movie because it isn't scary (then again, most horror movies fail as horror movies anyway so whatever)
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:09 pm

I class it as a horror film. It might not be scary, but it's got the themes of a horror film.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Mon Apr 11, 2011 1:23 am

Darkflame wrote:
It isn't scary, it's far more disturbing than it is scary.

Plus....Jack. Fucking. Nicholson.

it disturbs me...






because of how mediocre it is

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Mon Apr 11, 2011 2:22 am

LOR has bad taste in both metal and film
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Mon Apr 11, 2011 12:31 pm

you have bad taste in women

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Mon Apr 11, 2011 1:03 pm

LOR wrote:
you have bad taste in women

Laughing

Taxer has no taste in women.

I'm going to watch the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre tonight: looking forward to it.
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Mon Apr 11, 2011 2:23 pm

LOR wrote:
you have bad taste in women
I don't know if that was intentional or not, but that made me laugh. LOL
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Mon Apr 11, 2011 2:44 pm

intentional. would be a very random thing to say otherwise haha

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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:16 pm

Taxer's too kvlt to care though. :cool:
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:49 pm

LOR wrote:
you have bad taste in women

Ahahaha
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PostSubject: Re: Horror movies I feel like reviewing   Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:19 am

Darkflame wrote:
Taxer's too kvlt to care though. :cool:

thats why i dont feel bad

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