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 Tell a funny/amusing story

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breakyoudown
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PostSubject: Tell a funny/amusing story   Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:48 pm

Haven't made a thread in a while, this is uncharacteristic of me.

So my friend James is kind of ridiculous. When this guy is in the zone its actually kind of unbelievable what he's capable of accomplishing. So this weekend we were heading downtown Toronto. In transit time this takes a good hour and a half because I live in a nook of the city. Anyways so we have a few drinks and are on the bus. A few minutes in James tells us he didn't bring his: cell phone, wallet, or keys. Were all like ....seriously? We tell him to get off immediately and run back to my house. So he takes my friends cell and books it.

We forgot to give him keys to our house.

So were all thinking that he's just going to have to roam for 5 hours.

Fuck that

So were now off the bus on the subway knowing that were probably not going to see him till we get back. My friends start harping me for not taking better care of him and one of them bets me $5 that he doesn't make it. I take the bet.

30 minutes later we get a text saying "You guys need better home security, I got my stuff"
Were shocked out of our damn minds. My kitchen window was locked and it has two metal bars going across. Looking at this thing, you would think that there was no way you could get in. Fuck that.
He popped the screen out so he could jimmy the window to the point where the wooden piece holding it shut fell down. Okay so he got an opening to crawl in. But even still, this space that was open was really fucking small and he somehow fit his shoulders through it. He damages the window slightly but I don't care I could not believe it.

Anyway back to my group, we reach the bar at 10:55. We buy a drink and sit at a table. 11:31 James shows up, he cabbed over and found us immediately.

The next morning he couldn't even move the window, he said that he must have super human strength after some beers. The space looked WAY smaller in the morning


And that is how I won $5.

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:17 pm

That's pretty impressive.

Can't think of anything right now but I may come back to this later.
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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:31 pm

thats sweet. i know i must have a couple of these, but i can never recall anything when the time comes for it haha

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:13 pm

I have a few stories like this about him haha might return a few times

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Sun Nov 20, 2011 9:03 pm

HAhaha that's awesome. Most of mine will be unfortunate in some way... we'll see I may post something after work tonight
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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Thu Dec 01, 2011 1:50 am

Story two.
So its Halloween and were down with a bunch of friends at a bar club whatever you call it.
I'm dressed as a detective James is Scarface. So its getting late and we decide to go home. We all get rounded up and head outside. Suddenly my friend tells me, "hey dave wheres your friend"? I'm like ah god dammit James. So I text him, call him several times, nothing. So I go inside to look for him. Cannot find him anywhere. Every one leaves without me so I take a 1.5 hour transit home alone.

Later that night I get a text saying "Hey I have your friend James's phone it was on the floor". So I start talking to this girl a little bit, prank call her for some reason and that kind of stuff.

Where was James?

When we were getting rounded up he randomly bails and goes home with some girl in a cab to god knows where. He was bragging about how good his job was the whole time apparently. So he gets to this girls house wherever the fuck that was, and it was her parents house so he couldn't go inside. So they end up making out for several hours and eventually the girl goes inside to call a cab for him.

So he waits for a cab right? And gets the girls number?
Wrong he just leaves when she goes in

He walks into town and finds an apartment building in which he sleeps on the phonebooks on the lobby floor. Then at god knows what time someone gets buzzed in and he follows them in through the locked door. He sleeps on the floor in there instead. In the morning the owner is furious and wants to call the police on him. He bails immediately and goes to a gas station and cabs to my house. I'm playing LA Noire and I hear a knock at noon and I finally see him again. We thought he was dead. His Scarface costume is covered in dirt and he looked like he just got his ass kicked. Apparently the girls house was only half an hour from mine. That is some Irish luck there. So I ask the girl who had his phone for her address and we go to her house and get the phone back. The girl seemed kinda interested in me but I really wasn't having any of it.

James throws up for a little while then goes home.


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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:21 am

thats ridiculous haha

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:04 am

Needs more Satan.
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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Thu Dec 01, 2011 9:49 am

Taxer666 wrote:
Needs more Satan.

is this one on the taxer meme yet? cuz its a good one

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Thu Dec 01, 2011 1:08 pm

It's kind of annoying actually, he's asking for more content by calling us boring then says the equivalent of cool story bro when effort is put out

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:38 pm

Chill bro.
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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Thu Dec 01, 2011 6:13 pm

It's fine man I'm just saying

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Thu Dec 01, 2011 7:59 pm

cheers

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:12 am

I went to an awesome party way back when, blacked out, and woke up outside Detroit in the back seat of my own car covered in vomit, blood and semen...

Qualifies in my opinion.

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:27 am

sounds like you killed and raped somebody.... right?

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:19 pm

Long version!

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Fri Dec 02, 2011 2:02 pm

breakyoudown wrote:
Long version!

YEAH EXPLAIN YOURSELF

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Fri Dec 02, 2011 2:37 pm

There's not really a long version, I blacked out. But it was a college party at NIU, and we were playing vodka pong, got completely wrecked and then went to a rave. We took a bunch of colorful pills, and picked up chicks, then I blacked out and woke up 300 miles away. Turns out their car was parked closeby. And the chicks' car was there too, so that explained the semen. No one ever successfully explained the blood.
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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Fri Dec 02, 2011 3:09 pm

sounds like you had a good time

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Sat Dec 03, 2011 1:02 pm

I HAVE ONE.

My friend Cem just recently went off to uni. Cem is a lovely guy, but freezes the fuck up around women. At least when he's sober anyway. Seriously, he's like the real life version of Raj from Big Bang Theory. He just cannot handle anything to do with relations of the intimate kind. Anyway, it's uni. Which means much more freedom, which means much more drinking/sex/stuff of that nature going on. Cem's at a party and manages to actually get talking with a girl and getting somewhere with her, so she takes him back to her room. Apparently she finds him really funny and asks him to tell her a joke. Cem has never been this far with a girl. Cem is confident. Cem is about to get somewhere. Cem is also incredibly drunk. He looks around the room, sees a model of some cartoon crab on her desk, picks it up and says "Hehe...you have crabs."

Cem did not get sex.
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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Sat Dec 03, 2011 4:08 pm

Darkflame wrote:
I HAVE ONE.

My friend Cem just recently went off to uni. Cem is a lovely guy, but freezes the fuck up around women. At least when he's sober anyway. Seriously, he's like the real life version of Raj from Big Bang Theory. He just cannot handle anything to do with relations of the intimate kind. Anyway, it's uni. Which means much more freedom, which means much more drinking/sex/stuff of that nature going on. Cem's at a party and manages to actually get talking with a girl and getting somewhere with her, so she takes him back to her room. Apparently she finds him really funny and asks him to tell her a joke. Cem has never been this far with a girl. Cem is confident. Cem is about to get somewhere. Cem is also incredibly drunk. He looks around the room, sees a model of some cartoon crab on her desk, picks it up and says "Hehe...you have crabs."

Cem did not get sex.

ha. good delivery

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Sat Dec 03, 2011 5:00 pm

You need a joke to bail you out?

You: What's a pirates favourite letter?

Girl: I've heard this its R, arrrrrr.

You: You'd think it would be R but no! Its the C!

Cute as fuck

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Sat Dec 03, 2011 10:51 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Fri Dec 09, 2011 7:43 am

Woe! Awesome story hehehehe.........
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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Fri Dec 09, 2011 9:19 pm

Good sir, if you are real I advise you to post more or get an avatar otherwise you are nothing but a bot to me....but if you are WELCOME!! Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Tell a funny/amusing story   Fri Dec 09, 2011 11:13 pm

its a bot pretty sure

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