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 Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?

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breakyoudown
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PostSubject: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Mon Aug 06, 2012 4:32 pm

*Two stories. Once I made a Delicio (sp?) Pizza and I suddenly got this thought that it was too greasy to eat. So I got a paper towel and soaked some of it up then threw it out. I felt good after seeing "all the harm I was avoiding" I repeated this process like 10 times. The pizza was now a dry piece of shit- I feel like I literally sucked the soul out of it. It was like I was eating blank food.

*Another time I had some left over soup. It was very thick with vegetables to begin with. So I got this genius idea to put it in the microwave for 20 minutes as I showered so the soup would have no cold spots. Yeah when I got to it it was basically a solid. There was no resemblance to a liquid. I still ate it because it was a great soup at one point but god was that dumb


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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Mon Aug 06, 2012 4:34 pm

I somehow managed to turn two mini pizzas into ash in about 7 min in the oven the other day. Not sure how the hell I did that one.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Mon Aug 06, 2012 4:45 pm

Once I used 250ml of milk to make Kraft Dinner. Ended up as cheese cereal.

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Mon Aug 06, 2012 4:51 pm

Mmmm cheese cereal. I put too much water in and undercooked some Chinese dumplings one time and they tasted like soggy ravioli. That was pretty gross.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Mon Aug 06, 2012 6:21 pm

Forgetting to keep an eye on beans and various soups multiple times. Once it's a little burned the entire pot is ruined.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:18 am

I was making soup once and forgot to check on it so it over boiled and cover everything in soup. Another time I made soup and it was too hot so I put it in the freezer for a bit and when I came back it was frozen solid.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Tue Aug 07, 2012 5:07 am

I don't know if it counts, but one time I had a leftover Wendy's cheeseburger that I put in the microwave... I forgot that you probably shouldn't put tinfoil in the microwave, so it caught on fire and ruined it. Oh, and the microwave got ruined too.

I've severely overcooked pasta many times, it's basically inedible. Also, one time we put too much olive oil on a homemade pizza and when it came out of the oven it looked like it had been in a furnace for a few hours.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:35 am

That made me think of the dumb ass that blew up a honey bun in its wrapper the second day of my freshman year of college.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Wed Aug 08, 2012 6:50 pm

I burned toast once.

People don't let me cook. They know it's dangerous.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:07 am

i did that mac and cheese milk thing today haha. not toooo bad though

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:21 am

I never knew pasta expanded.............

I also forgot oil was important...........
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:41 am

Learning about oil is pretty advanced

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 8:21 am

breakyoudown wrote:
Learning about oil is pretty advanced

I had to have the oil discussion with my girlfriend the other day lol.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:53 am

I don't want to put too much because that shit boils and its terrifying, it'll getcha

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:58 am

But it makes cooking way easier lol.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 10:42 am

A chicken burst a bit and got oil on my arm and the burns have not gone away and it fucking looks like shit now. Its been like a year. Godamn I should just tattoo over it

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 10:47 am

Tattoo a flaming chicken on it or Taxers face. Also I do not miss cooking meat that is for sure >_> I get shit done so much more easily now.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:27 pm

I smoked the kitchen a few times

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:42 pm

I remember using the microwave to make porridge. If only I didn't use a plastic bowl......
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:52 pm

breakyoudown wrote:
I smoked the kitchen a few times

I wish I still had the video of my friends smoking out their entire first floor with a single grilled cheese sandwich.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:42 pm

i made an omelette today. it was glorious...not a fail at all...but good... as long as i dont get salmonella

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:47 pm

LOR wrote:
as long as i dont get salmonella

Time delay fail.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:49 pm

lol. i dont think i will, it was cooked THOROUGHLY. i even did both sides, cuz i do it the wrong way Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:50 pm

Well then you should be fine lol. I cooked some french fries and a "chicken" sandwich today for lunch and didn't destroy either of them so no fail for me today either.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:51 pm

One time I did such a bad job cooking meat I got a DUI

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:51 pm

I'm not even sure what that means. O.o
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:53 pm

blackstar wrote:
Well then you should be fine lol. I cooked some french fries and a "chicken" sandwich today for lunch and didn't destroy either of them so no fail for me today either.
i know, ive done it before and was okay. when i cook eggs and meat im always worried though for some reason. even if i burn the shit out of it. shit scares me. always more happy to let someone else do it.

breakyoudown wrote:
One time I did such a bad job cooking meat I got a DUI
i dont even know what that means, but i feel ya

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:55 pm

Well I don't eat meat anymore so largely that problem has been alleviated for me lol old habits die hard though.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:56 pm

what about eggs though?!?!?!

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:58 pm

I don't cook eggs that frequently if we ever have them my girlfriend usually is the one cooking so I don't have to worry about it.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:04 pm

DUI= driving under the influence lol

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:08 pm

Yes...but what does that have to do with meat o.O?
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:09 pm

i get that.... but from meat?

i guess i could see that

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:10 pm

No idea, I did an awful job cooking then suddenly I had my drivers license revoked

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:11 pm

.....WTF

scratch Laughing

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:12 pm

breakyoudown wrote:
No idea, I did an awful job cooking then suddenly I had my drivers license revoked

That's my new sig.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Fri Aug 10, 2012 6:06 am

I was making an egg sandwich. lubed the frying pan, set burner for high. cracked the egg in.



hard boiled egg slumps onto the sizzling pan
felt like a tard
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Fri Aug 10, 2012 2:04 pm

that actually made me chuckle in real life haha. thats great! beer

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Sat Aug 11, 2012 6:31 am

I wonder if my time in fast food counts. Like one time, we had these old fries that had been sitting on the heat thing for probably an hour and when somebody came through and ordered fries we just dunked them back in the fryer for a bit so they were all greasy and hot. They were fucking nasty though.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Sat Aug 11, 2012 9:44 am

You know at DQ how you ALWAYS have to flip the blizzard? Well I worked there and sometimes the machines get warm and the icecream is more liquidy than a solid so I end up just turning their order upside and spilling it straight on the counter. They said they'll fire you if you don't flip it. So dumb

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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:22 pm

Cooked chili in a pan last night and almost turned into a massive fail. As was it was freakin tasty though.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:22 pm

breakyoudown wrote:
You at DQ how you ALWAYS have to flip the blizzard? Well I worked there and sometimes the machines get warm and the icecream is more liquidy than a solid so I end up just turning their order upside and spilling it straight on the counter. They said they'll fire you if you don't flip it. So dumb

Dude I almost fell out of my chair laughing imagining you doing that. It didn't help that you were dressed as Milkman Dan.
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PostSubject: Re: Biggest cooking fail you've ever done?   Mon Aug 13, 2012 12:13 am

Today I made a bacon sandwich.

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