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 Earnesty and Alienation

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PostSubject: Earnesty and Alienation   Thu Dec 19, 2013 3:48 am

I know im a long-winded dickpod, but whatever its your time and Im probably not worth it.

YOU CAN PROBULLY SKIP TO THE IMPORTANTISH PART IF WORDS SUCK

I dont think kids my age know how to communicate anymore. I found myself really alienated in high school because I was talking about philosophy, qualia (qualia means individual instances of subjective, conscious experience) and really abstract humor. As you know, most people were just making YOLO and yo-momma jokes. This isnt me going "im smarter than the average asspant". I wasnt pretentious about it, I didnt hold anyone in contempt and i wouldve been happy to explain as much as i had to to bring others into my conversations. Basically ive always loved discovering things about what people feel and why. I love discovering how others think.

I decided they were funnier and were probably having spicier conversations than mine. But 11th grade, my friends (pseudo-intellectual snobs) started lying to me so I started sitting alone. Thats when I started to overhear everybody's conversations.

THE IMPORTANTISH PART

Couldn't believe how little substance they used in their interactions. I've watched people talk for a full hour and not learn a single thing about the person theyre talking to. So I modeled my conversations on that and put a little more zing on my jokes. So I won new friends and bagged my first gf that way.

But I recently noticed that when my old friends talk to me, I alter the conversation if they compliment me or ask about me in earnest. Big revelation. Realized Im desperately chasing intimacy in others, while sublimating it when I earn it BECAUSE OF HOW WE INTERACT these days. Am I the only one that edits myself out of the conversation for fear of losing peoples' interests? I wonder whether Im afraid Ill enjoy talking about myself. Any thoughts or comments are welcome.
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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Thu Dec 19, 2013 4:51 am

I have noticed that our conversations are usually a bit dry and we never really go beyond, "Hey there's that thing. That's cool. Let's listen to that record. Okay" But I give myself more blame to that for I've actually done nothing worth talking about. I've read nothing to enlighten myself, I've been just stewing in my own ignorance for a little while now. But the last time I called you, you opened up a little when you were in the hospital, told me how things were, things you had done recently. I'm usually not the most interesting guy in the world, but I do enjoy discussing philosophical shit with ya, despite my lack of contribution to those discussions.
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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Thu Dec 19, 2013 4:57 am

i love our conversations no matter what they consist of. you're my best friend so youre actually exempt from this.
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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:03 am

Gravy Gulper wrote:
i love our conversations no matter what they consist of. you're my best friend so youre actually exempt from this.
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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:13 am

People nowadays are strange, it seems that nobody can really hold a genuine conversation anymore. It's almost as if they're all connected to this same wireless signal that feeds them how to think, talk and feel; that I've never been connected to. Usually most people who talk to me are either required to out of avoiding silence, or out of wanting something from me, whether it be someone to hear them babble or for help with homework. I don't edit myself in conversation most times, and often it results in people laughing even though I'm being completely serious. It often pisses me off, how quick people are to dismiss me, and condescend me because they feel like they're better than me because they have a busy social life and are "normal". I've learned to just accept the fact that I can't relate to any of these people, save a stray few. I used to chase intimacy, and grew very attached to friends who had no care for me and dropped me callously, resulting in severe trust/anxiety issues. I've learned to cope with it, but it always comes across as strange when I talk to people like that. I used to listen in to the people in my class's conversation hearing things like "...and then I was like: Bitch I don't want to conversate with you" and other intelligent gems. I never understood how someone could be so stupid, and how they could talk about such trivial things, but act so passionate about them.
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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Thu Dec 19, 2013 10:44 am

I've also noticed that a lot of my friends are only interested in me if I am initiating 100% of the work. If I don't make a first move, I wouldn't see most of my friends unless at a reunion. You miss me?
Than why aren't you ever talking or me?

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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Thu Dec 19, 2013 12:52 pm

The truly baffling part of your revelation is that we unconditionally choose stagnation unless internally driven to otherwise, which is only born of one thing: desperation.

All communities exist to survive. This is but one example of mitigating the conscious effect of relationships to welcome in a mob mentality that seeks to liberate us from true thought.

I lament that, like you, I share this affliction.

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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Thu Dec 19, 2013 1:23 pm

if im one on one with a friend, discussions can get pretty intense as we don't have to try and cater to anyone else that might be in the room. If there is one or two other people in the room that share the interests it works though. though the more people in the conversation usually requires more intoxication to get them to open up. Most of my friends are involved in the arts to some extent and some take psychology and philosophy courses so neat conversations happen kind of naturally. other than conversations like that which usually only happen with close friends, i usually stay shut up. people's first impressions of me (so I keep hearing) are basically that I'm kinda odd. Knowing that, I don't like to bombard people with my weirdness on purpose until they get used to me which may never happen haha.

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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Thu Dec 19, 2013 7:53 pm

I dig your opinions. Makes me feel less crazy to collect your empathy. Sometimes I feel like the main character in Fahrenheit 101, stumbling around listening to people talking about nothing. And he seems to be the only one thats not ok with it.
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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Thu Dec 19, 2013 11:29 pm

To it seems that the internet has caused people within our age group to have a difficult time connecting to someone on a person level since we can just communicate with them at any given moment. I'm not educated on the specifics, you ought to look that up yourself.

Another reason I think is that there is that the lack of intimacy among peers causes one other to not seek intimacy, leaving people in a socially distant catch 22.

I have more to say I just don't feel like typing it (jeez I'm terrible).
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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:29 am

All media can be considerably held accountable for desensitizing us to matters of importance. The internet is just one part of the schemata.

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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Fri Dec 20, 2013 4:39 pm

celebritalk and facebolitics fucking disgust me
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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Mon Dec 23, 2013 10:40 am

You know what sucks? When you and a friend disagree on something and then there is tension for a little while because of it and you're not sure how to get back to friendly mode

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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Mon Dec 23, 2013 4:33 pm

That happens way too much to me. I consider it a facet of alienation as much as the next guy, but convictions exist for a reason. It shouldn't be enough to cause a war, but that's how some happened...

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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Mon Dec 23, 2013 5:23 pm

breakyoudown wrote:
You know what sucks? When you and a friend disagree on something and then there is tension for a little while because of it and you're not sure how to get back to friendly mode

i usually have to put on a ridiculously fake smile and hug until the laughter becomes genuine again. if you release them early, it doesnt work.
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PostSubject: Re: Earnesty and Alienation   Mon Dec 23, 2013 11:01 pm

Do you change the subject? Do you make a joke? It's tough. I typically go for the humour route if things look bad. But if that fails it feels even more uncomfortable

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